Sunday, July 31, 2005

philosophy.. ?

ok.. there are three types of "qing" in this world..

1. Qin Qing(Family Ties)
2. You Qing(Friendship)
3. Ai Qing(Relationship)

why are there three different types of "qing" ?

Maybe its mixed existence is to cater for people like me..

No one can ever balance this three types of "qing" that well that nothing happens to it thru-out their lifez.. at least, thats what i think..

for me.. i would say that i probably have juz the first two types of qing at this moment..

the third one? oh well, i think.. i shld say it this way.. i m fortunate enough to choose.. but, being a stubborn snub, thats my nature.., i chose not to have it..

why? coz theres already someone i have in mind.. and of course.. the person in my mind doesn't really wanna accept me.. again, why? i dun really know the answer myself.. been trying to figure it out.. maybe coz i m not good enuff for her bah! (a very traditional excuse to reject someone juz tat simply..)

all i wanna say.. is tat i m tryin' to learn how to love again.. but in the process of it, i hurt myself.. hurt so badly that i m very afraid to stand up and face the pple around.. i might be seen as a heartless freak.. but, i never meant to hurt anyone.. i seriously have no intention to do so.. so, forgive me if i really did hurt u..

as for the one deep within me.. i know u know how i feel.. n, i can guess how u feel.. maybe u think everything seems to be that fast.. but, all i wanna say is tat i m afraid i might miss the chance.. the chance to be with u.. that explains why i took everything in such a haste manner.. dun think u will get to see this posting.. but still, juz wanna say whats in my mind!

enough of myself.. now, for my friend.. yes.. this portion of the posting is dedicated to u.. plz be strong and firm of ur decision.. i know its hard.. no one says it is gonna be easy.. but, i know.. u can do it.. dun always use "peng kui" as a term to describe ur feelings.. be strong! i know u can do it de.. its juz a matter of whether u are willing to face the problem in front of u.. like what u always say.. "as a friend, i will support u throughout what decision u have made..", this applies to u.. but of course.. i would wish that u made a good choice! take care, my friend.. :)

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