Wednesday, October 31, 2007

outta the red...

hmmm... red instead of blue?

yeah..

that signals something bad is gonna happen if this goes on..

yes yes yes..

recently, things have been coming up to me one after another..

first, it was the "shopping" of post-army pick-up-studying-again syndrome..

it isnt an easy decision to make, k..

it is like a decision which will cost u tons of $$$... might even get you into debt even before you start making a regular income back into your pocket... so, it sorta take up a toll of me...

next, came along the need to save up...

oh man.. this isnt an easy part too.. especially when i am so used to spending freely, although i still make an effort to save up la.., now that i need to think of what is gonna happen as far as 7mths later.. hai.. how much can i save? or, should i ask, how much can i control my spending? it is so difficult to be stuck in a budget.. it makes me feel so bad when my friends have already decided on a dinner place.. yet, me, shouting in caution over my small and miser portion of spending power left..

makes you feel lousy at times... but, i also cant hide the achievement i felt when i see the digits in my bank acct jumping up.. (though i still find the "jumping" is rather tamed...) hahaha...

and lastly, the thing i am thinking now... hard to put it in words... but, like what i just read at someone's blog,

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens... but, will you decide to look back at the closed door or head towards the new one?"

If only looking at the new direction would be that easy... and yes... feel so emo now! >.<

Sunday, October 21, 2007

one after another...

another week has passed~!

sounds nice.. sounds good... sound fabulous... !

coz, every little week passed is equivalent to one more week lesser in service!

grinZ~

it is so contradicting... thinking back... before my enlistment, i was so looking forward into getting myself into service..

but now, every single day in it, i just simply feel it is damn long...

many things have changed ever since i took my first step into army..

physically, mentally and even my way of thinking!

well, probably, this is the process which everyone has been talking about...

the process of changing a boy into a man...

nothing much.. nothing less..

looking back, there is no doubt tat army taught me many things...

many things that are beneficial to me...

be it physically, or mentally... it does help me eventually to become a better man... ~


enough with it...

come to think abt it, it has been super long since i last pampered myself..

so, i gonna buy this sunglasses which i saw at my current camp..

those army kind... find it quite nice.. although the price is pretty steep... nonetheless, just gonna let me feel better somehow by getting it.. =P

actually, nothing much to update lah.. just that, the course i am attending now is kinda boring.. ~ :D

Sunday, October 14, 2007

the truth...

in this world of deception... no one is true... no one will be true...

coz, everyone just wants to protect themselves... protect and be unharm over the hurt one can bring to another...

you can never tell.. who is being true to you at one particular moment.. and who is not..

so, one would rather believe in the adverse rather than embracing to a thought which cease to exist...

and, in this i believe.. anyone and everyone have a small hidden agenda in their mind when they work things out.. let alone the purpose of why the job must be done..

for instance, a hardworking worker does not only work for the salary he/she looks forward to every end of the month.. he/she have the thought in mind to work up the corporate ladder.. to aim and achieve what he/she wish to obtain from the every first day he/she enters the company..

it is just so ironical to find that humanity begins to work against each other at times...


ahhh... crap... don't even know what i am uttering abt... just feel like mentioning what i am thinking..

hmmm... back to the normal me.. ~

went "shopping" for my further studies earlier this afternoon.. all the varsities which gathered at Orchard Hotel comes from aussie...

yes.. been comtemplating whether i should just stay here and get my want, a degree, or in achieving it at a foreign country... mainly for the exposure and understanding how the outside world works..

need more time to weight the differences in this two choices.. of course, the latter can turn out to be a financial burden in the end... but, it could also be advered if i work according to plans meted out for my future..

very skeptical.. very deceiving.. everyone knows... plans are make to be followed... but, rules are make to be broken...

so, i dun know if i can be disciplined enough to work hard in order to achieve my aim..

of course, i have been telling myself that it is time for me to show my own worth..

but, after going thru last week's series of lectures on my vocation, i started to cast doubts in my plans..

sometimes, one simply needs somebody to confide in.. to trash out the differences in his mind.. to seek advices from.. and to stop my mind in whirling ard weird thoughts..

sorta sick being the one everyone sees in him..

though per say, i still think that i am being locked and stoned as time goes by.. and, for that, i really dunno how this person can come into me...

still, really hope that someone strong enough is there for me...

Thursday, October 11, 2007

OMG!?

argh... been feeling very tired lately...

staying out isnt a good idea...

need to rush up and down to and fro from the camp...

the part which requires me to return to camp was still pretty fine..

but, the other part of it, the returning journey, was sorta tiring man!

even though i got people to fetch me to the MRT station, it was still a long journey back home...

besides the travelling journey, the lessons i am having now is also mind draining...

draining every single little energy off me... squeezing me dry like a piece of towel...

arg... !

Saturday, October 06, 2007

crazy week...

the past week have really gotten up to me...

feeling old... feeling sick and tired... feeling weak.. and lastly, feeling lousy!

all sorta negative feelings, ya?

yeah...

had physical training much of the past week...

started out with the normal 5 basic exercises... and, 1.5km run rd the camp..

was still doing fine during the first day of the week...

up till the second, was really still doing good.. just that, after the 4.5km run, really feel lousy.. although coming in second of the cohort was like sorta fine for me.. still, i felt the stamina is diminishing day after day... does that means age is catching up with me.. ?

ha! just 23 and i am thinking of ageing.. thats sorta fast.. but, cant help it.. ~

then, came the most torturous training a combatant has to go through...

SOC!!!

frankly, i dun even know what is the purpose for me taking up that training..

firstly, it was a last minute inclusion to the training schedule... i was only told about it 30mins before the programme starts.. ??

oh come on... i am just human.. i have things which i dread doing.. and, like many others, SOC happens to be one of them...

w/o being mentally prepared... w/o having sufficient sleep the night before... w/o having water paraded... w/o having an explanation for my last minute inclusion, i still went ahead...

just simply becoz i wanna have a "taste" of doing SOC at the camp where i spent 3mths of my life at...

first obstacle, had abit of difficulty in overcoming it.. maybe due to the long period of time being absent from it, (oh come on.. my last SOC attempt was 9mths ago...), nevertheless, cleared it with abit of struggle.. btw, i was carrying an additional weight of abt 3kg off the criteria, so, i am not weak, ok!?

passed the rest with a breeze except the low rope.. likewise from the first obstacle, took abit of struggle to get thru it... overcoming it eventually.. :D

after clearing, we had to make a full attempt again.. this time rd, not covering the high obstacles.. but, inclusive of the run down.. 800m fr start.. and 700m fr end..

this time rd, din manage to clear low rope.. it was like, "OMG.. failing at that station again?!" and, yes.. i couldn't overcome it.. hahaha.. :X

but, though failing one station, i still manage to clear the running part first in my cohort.. lucky for me.. guess the others were just sorta low morale.. therefore, allowing me to overtake them.. hahaha.. ;)

then came the monsterous IPPT training on thursday... wa liew.. till now, the training is still giving me the aches all over my body!!! geez...

overall, all these training have made me realise one thing... that is...

I NEED MORE TRAINING!!! and, I WILL TRAIN HARD AGAIN!!!

remembering... "Do it once, do it good! And, begone with it!!!" :)