Sunday, February 25, 2007


i refuse to succumb into reality..

i just want to stay in my own world..

a world where i believe that i will always get the type of love i want..

a place where i know i will feel the serenity of peace in..

a time where all things stop for my sake..

a thing where everything comes into place itself..

a believe that i will always be the one i m..

a love that will never be replaceable..

a person where the world will cease to exist if she isnt ard..

a land where all the desired people and things are cramped into..

a mind where all thoughts are realistic..

a wallet filled with loads of money..

a face where happiness always can be found in..

a dream of she and me turns into more than just a fantasy..

a time where comes into internity..

a story that never ends.........

Saturday, February 24, 2007

who r u.. ?

this is a simple yet difficult to answer question.. (alright.. maybe to me only..)

spent time thinking of an answer for this question.. but, dun seem to find it out.. cant really sort it out.. or, maybe, it is too hard to decipher..

even though i know this person for 22years.. coming to 23.. i still really cant find the right term to conclude him.. yeah.. maybe short of vocab.. but, nonetheless, there is still a difficulty.. isnt it.. ?

enjoyed the serenity of the sea while racking my brains for an answer.. one solid hour alone.. but yet.. results are still obvious enuff.. else, i wouldnt be writing all these..

have you asked yourself?

how much u know about urself?

who knows you more than you do?

and yet, u dun have the answer?

how irony this world can be..

who dares to say he/she knows himself/herself inside out?

i wonder who takes such bravery into his/her hands..

hahaha.. another question that came into my mind.. but, unlike the above.. i got abit of conclusion for this..

the difference between "will" and "can"..

"Will you be able to put down the past and accept the future?"

replace the "will" with "can".. how does it sounds like?

"Will" becomes a term telling the person to try and forget about things.. while "Can" becomes a more forciful statement than the former..

Moreover, "can" seems to be a more powerful word to use.. while "will" have the politeness in it.. but, no power at all..

hahaha.. wonder why i m uttering such rubbish here.. maybe, i just wanna clear what i have in mind now.. zZzzZz.. ;)

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Chinese Lunar New Yr!

Happy Lunar New Year to all!

well, this yr, is kinda like the past yrs.. not much visiting done.. thus, "earning" just a few red packets.. hahaa..

sad it may sounds, but, fulfilling it is to me..

i just need to know how my relatives are doing.. not making a "dig" into their pockets.. so, i got my priority right!

here is for the readers, have you been trying very hard to avoid the traditional questions? e.g "where is ur gf/bf?", "when you planning to start dating again?", "when are you inviting me for your wedding dinner" etc... ?

hahaha.. lucky enuff for me, my relatives aint shooting such "traditional" questions on me.. lest the pain and headache in answering them..

probably they are the more new-age type of people ba.. dun think they are giving me the "bo-hue" attitude.. moreover, i m the youngest ard within my cousins.. and, most of them are married man/woman(if i m not wrong, only 3 of my cousins are not married yet.. but, each of the 3, they are currently in a "super-stable" type of relationship with their partners.. therefore, the questions might probably be "reserved" for them.. hahaha).. so, they are probably in the "not-so-bothered-by-trival stuffs" mindset..

oh, during the visit, one of my cousin sister showed me photos of my young young young days.. errr.. i think i was in the tender age of 4-5yrs.. hahaha.. cutee.. and, thanks alot, valerie! for picking out those photos, which somehow, make me feel "embarassed".. hahaha.. guess she enjoys poking fun outta me.. but, it was really really sweet of her to find the effort in getting the photos out.. hahaha.. ;)

enuff talk of relatives.. now, for my friends whom i met during the 2nd day of new yr..

as per like the past, we met up at one of my good friend's house.. hahah.. talked and chatted under the "sun" with the "good-old-days" friends.. even stroke out a chat session with my friend's sister and brother..

oh man.. those were the days.. something which i shldn't forget abt mentioning.. damn.. i lost $100+ in the gambling table!! @#(&!)*@$%

hahaha.. nonetheless, i still find it worthwhile.. coz, i believe in "小财不出,大财不入" hahaha.. therefore, i m expecting a BIG downfall on me during the coming days! hahaha.. :D

Saturday, February 17, 2007


it is amazing how people cope with sadness or confusions themselves..

when i was young, i remember vividly that i was a cry baby(yeah.. i admit...)

and, whenever i cry, i will just simply sob terribly.. and, calling out for my aunt to help me.. i dun remember why i call out for my aunt.. but, all i could gather is that this aunt of my is very close to me..

although she never came along for my rescue, but, the calling out for her definately ease some sadness off my shoulders.. letting me get a breather.. and allowing those bad imes to pass by easier than it is suppose to be..

as time goes by, things change..

the old gets replaced by the new..

so does the "call-out"...

now, my reliance became to just a place.. a place where i had many fond memories of..

even when i know that i shld avoid going to the "hideout", but, whenever i feel down, the first place that comes to my mind is just simply there..

and, when i m there, even if it is just a simple 15mins, things start to change.. change for the better..

lastly, when you are there at ur "hideout", u just simply hope that u dun bump into people u dun think u shld see.. (i almost did earlier on.. luckily my senses told me that i shld move away.. else, i dun dare to think of what would have had happened..)


so, have you thought where ur "hideout" is.. ?

will u always go there whenever u need some silent moments?

i hope u have like i do.. at least, it would be a place where u start to "heal" ur "wounds".. :)

Sunday, February 11, 2007


hmm.. after more than 22yrs in this world, finally, i know how difficult and endearing to miss a person's presence.. (oh, believe me.. i have given up hopes of reliving the old days.. just a simple feeling.. but yet, complicating.. :D)

not that i dun have this feeling thru-out my life.. just that, when time goes on.. this feeling just gets stronger.. maybe is the amount of reliance just increases when one gets older..

anyway, next week, outfield training.. oh man.. so sian.. outfield again.. what makes worse.. the outfield period will take up valentine's day~ haahaa.. not as if i have a valentine.. but, at least, they shld make a public holiday for valentines ma.. so, people like me, singlehood de, can take the chance to have a rest wat..

so much of doing tat much for "baby bloom" plan by the government.. this kinda thing shld automatic ma.. public holiday! stimulate more marriages.. ~ haahaa..

since i cant enjoy the day, i just hope the others will be able to! especially her.. :)

to all couples in the world, "Happy Valentine's Day!"

Sunday, February 04, 2007


some words are never meant to be said..

some feelings are never meant to be felt..

some thoughts are never meant to be shown..

some things are never meant to be revealed..

in the face of e reality, i can only show that things cant work out for me..

but, in my sub-conscious.. even though i know there might be a chance for things to go on, i just cant show it..

at the end of everything, who will know me best.. ?

it will be none other than myself..

Saturday, February 03, 2007

this is what they said..

"The higher your expectations are, the stronger your disappointment will be(期望越高,失望越大)"

supposedly, if you put lots of hopes i expecting an outcome, and, when the desired outcome does not come along, you must hold on to that disappointment which tucked along too...

this is the challenging part.. isnt it.. ?

oh well, sometimes, not that you cant take that disappointment.. most importantly, you must learn how to accept the outcome of it.. that is what i need to tell myself.. hahaha.. self-deniance.. not learning how to be more acceptance.. hai! thats probably the worst of me.. :X

hopefully, when you read this, you wont become as bad as i do.. k? learn to counter all the challenges tat come along.. and, remember, problems tat doesnt kill you only makes you stronger.. ;)