Tuesday, June 21, 2005


err.. support.. support is an action which can be either in moral or physical that are usually shown by others.. thats what i perceive from this word.. which i m greatly i need of...

ok.. to date, theres only 1 person who is supportive of what i m doing now... the odds are pretty against it.. but still, i really appreciate this person for supporting me when others are lookin' down on my decision.. of coz.. the deciding figure in this decision is also lookin' down on it..

hahaha.. so, ya.. whats the point of carrying on.. ? fine.. even my best friend is finding me irritating.. hahaha.. thanks hor, daniel.. for ur "loud" support when we were on our way back from marina.. hahaha.. will remember de lor.. kuku u... =X

ok.. recently, m feeling rather depressed.. juz feel that i m thinking too much.. so much, that it feels pretty hurting somehow.. this hurt.. is so unique.. till an extent whereby i dun know how to heal it.. or stop it.. hmmm.. maybe, the usual antidote, time, will do its magic on me again.. hahaha.. hopefully it won't take long..

like what the others have been saying.. once u lose the feeling, everything will be fine.. the sun will shine again! zhen de mah? will a sun shine in the midst of a thunderstorm? a thunderstorm which seems to be lasting forever... grrr..

never had such a strong feeling before.. never... and when i say never, it means N-E-V-E-R... hahaha.. sounds stern? yea.. it is.. truthfully... ! hope this is a challenge to me.. make me a stronger man bah! hahaha..

went back to Chan Bros today.. gotten my pay.. everyone claims that i m rich le.. but, they never know.. how poor i was before i got my pay.. and, i can foresee an even worser case when time passes... coz i din even worked on June!!! how to survive !?!?! and, July no more check in!!! how !?!?! food rationing liao lor.. ho seh liao lor... anyone have a good part time job for an no experience guy like me? can recommend?? cham ah... *hopefully money will juz fall on me...* don't worry.. i will spend it before it drowns me.. hahaha.. *craps*

now, i feel like going to the beach and walk.. walk down the cold and calm beach.. think about whats happening.. hopefully, a decision can come in juz like how this feeling came to me.. ending it like the sudden entry of it into my life.. making sure my heart wont sanction any decision to end it.. blah blah blah.. aiyah.. this is full of ups and downs... making me feel extreme... making me extremely happy.. and then putting me through the extreme downs... hahaha.. very exciting.. n torturing!

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