ouch...

ran 12km earlier during this week...

or, shld i say, i was struggling to finish the 12km..

in the end, i ran only 10.5km... thinking that i have completed 12km...

was quite a struggle although i have completed that distance before...

my calf muscles were almost giving way... worse still, i was feeling this "heat" at my abdomen area.. felt like my intestines were like twisting and tossing around.. hahaha.. first time felt it this way.. but still, ran abt 400m towards the ending line.. woohoo~ proud of my achievement.. would be even better if i covered the actual distance... hahaha... *shag cannot think le..* :P

now, i feel like my legs aint my anymore... hahaha... coz of the aches... its like, my legs are another entity of its own!!! wa lao... damn jialat... but, i guess, i just gotta live with it... still got the half marathon to attend... the upcoming trainings will probably cover more and more distance... gosh... hope i can bare with it!!! lalala~

actually, my life in service is rather quite a twist for me... as i was alone in bunk for these few days, all my bunk mates are either on leave or stay-out, did abit of thinking...

was rather positive to think that i have became a better person.. knowing how to persevere.. in terms of physical and mental training... know lots of good pple thru service too... although was abit turned off when i thought of those who are kinda like "wayang"..

but, dreaded the feeling when i felt like my freedom was totally disrupted by the service-term.. meaning to say, i felt bonded.. the obligation seems to have made me lost many things i wanted to do..

how should i put it.. ? burden? maybe that is the word...

put aside all those luxurious time i am thinking of if i was to be a civilian... i am more like deprived off the chance which i can spend with both my family and friends... although most of the time, i reject their invitation to have fun during the weekends... but then, most of the time, i was overwhelmed by the thought of just staying home and spending more time alone...

quality time, it should be... that goes well for me... as i always have feel that it will.. :P

besides the friends and family factor, i also felt that i am being tied down from getting a chance to go into a relationship... not that i am already in one or what... just that, the fact that i am still a NSF do make me somehow, felt inferior to others... moreover, like what i have concluded with many of my NSF friends... getting into a relationship while in service, is one thing which will bring in loads of worries... come on.. lets just face the reality that men do get into the tender hooks when they are not with their partner... may it be a strong one, or a faint one, it will still always be there... hai... problems!

all these are just thoughts... plain thoughts of my... i dont know how others feel about it... but, their stand definately does differ from my...

bleahz... enough said... rubbish throughout my entry... i better brace myself for the upcoming 14km run this friday... hope it will be a breeze to me!!! *shivers*

now, before i end this posting, let me just share with u readers a song... this song have been in my mind since last week... it also "accompanied" me during my 12km run... enjoy...

叶子

叶子是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀是落在天上的叶子
天堂原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遗忘
当初怎么开始飞翔
孤单是一个人的狂欢
狂欢是一群人的孤单
爱情原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭旅行到处走走停停
也一个人看书写信自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你