hmmm..

did not manage to run this evening.. coz of the rain..

although the rain did stop, i still decided not to run..

coz, i usually rain w/o my specs.. which sorta being a dangerous thing to do.. as the ground is pretty wet..

yup.. abit like excuses.. but, whatever the case, i still didn't run..


anyway, somehow, felt very hurt..

actually, i know why lah...

just don't think it is appropriate to mention it here...


sounds weird, right?

but then, it is just me...

well, i am one who just writes myself off whenever i felt there is a need to...

and, when i do, usually, it is more like a well-concluded picture... always that difficult to change..


maybe, if you weight the difference, i would take out to be the last choice ba...

argh.. !!! low self-esteem... @#*!%&


never mind.. shall vent all my grievances and anger in tmr's run... and, i will!

my name!

Boy Name Aaron - Name Origin and Meaning of Aaron

Gender: Male

Origin: Biblical

Meaning:
It's a Biblical name. This name means: A teacher; lofty; mountain of strength. Suitable only for boys. It is a popular name.

The meaning of my name...

me? a teacher? oh, really? i probably will have many dead students.. wahaha...

strength.. mountain of it somemore.. do i really have it.. ? i guess, my strength is probably being stubborn in my thoughts... always going for the things which i deem fit... therefore, i always thought, it could be a strength.. can also be my weak point... as whenever i habour inferiority, things just doesnt go the way it should be... therefore, i hope my partner can be able to bring me outta this..

and, yes.. i know.. a popular name.. and, a common name.. whereby will always get "unintentional" calls from friends who accidentally tend to press my no. on their hp... bleahs.. =P

oh.. forgot to mention a thing i heard from the radio during last week..

according to what i heard, guys with big butt are kinda well sort after.. hahaha.. that is interesting.. heard it thru 933.. when it was saying that some singer(landy wen) says that she prefers the above mentioned type of guys as her future spouse.. hahaha... really interesting.. ;)

等了很久又很想说的话

我很想说。。“我想你”

tiredness caught into me!

for the third consecutive week, i was pulled into roles of marshalling at different places...

first, it was marshalling @ gedong..

next, was at camp...

lastly, at pasir ris camp...

wa lao... all marshallings lor...

the difference?

the last one was much more "cool-er" than the previous ones!

yup... alot of difference lei..

see.. the first was done during the afternoon.. second, in the mid of the morning.. thats about 9+ ba..

and, the last one??? hmmm... started out at 5am.. hahaha..

moreover, the last one was the most enjoyrable one.. although i needed to act like a clown, swinging the luminous red stick to get the attention of the drivers... hahaha... but, nonetheless, the role was filled with great joy...

coz, firstly, i get to do my job w/o the company of the ever-rising temperature shed by the red hot sun.. next, i get to enjoy the serenity and freshness of air at the top level of the multi story carpark.. lastly, i get to have a glimpse of the sea while doing my duty!

the most rewarding part shld be, i sorta saw the sunrise~ and also, the break of dawn...

woots... the break of dawn.. a very interesting moment as per comparison to the other hours of the day.. you just feel like, you have seen some light coming through the darkness... but yet, the darkness just simply was filled with quietness.. and with that, you felt a sense of calm in the surroundings.. making you feel at ease at the very moment.. awww.. tat was one lovely timing.. hope i could go thru that sorta feeling with my future partner.. :) :) :)

side track abit.. was talking to one of the commander who was on duty with me at the carpark.. we were sorta saying that being a sign on, can also get quite good pay eh... judging from the amount of vehicles we needed to marshall.. hahaha... :P

yeap... tat was sorta how i spent my second half of the week... oh.. not to forget.. i was kinda assigned to fill up sandbags with the above mentioned commander.. both of us, filling like close to a 100 sand bags... damn fun.. make me feel like i m those bangala working @ some construction site.. hahaha.. and, i was also grumbling... was all the trainings i had previously all sums out to this moment? filling of sand bags? hahaha... kinda ironical...

anyway, been doing quite an amt of running.. which helps my lost of weight.. hahaha.. went running the night before... and, while running, i almost fell into a big drain.. so damn paiseh la... hahaha.. coz, i have this habit of not wearing my specs while doing the runs... and, lucky enough for me, i stopped when i realise that i was heading straight towards the drain... hahaha... stopped and stunned on that very moment.. before deciding to head back to the track.. hahaha... and, conclusion? always be aware of the track's location before heading onto it.. heehee.. ;)

hey!

man can be weak with their words too, k...

and, yes.. i succumb to the temptation...

so what? i am only human!

grumblings!

haha.. so long never update le!

been going out during the weekends... really love the outings.. helped me to ease off the tensions i had during the weekdays... and, also, put aside whatever was outstanding...

moreover, the breezes just simply "breeze" off everything which weights in my mind... ;)

actually, i have nothing much to say lah... just that, some things are meant not to be said...

even, if there is a need for it to be said, you must first have what it takes to be told upon...

which is, what i lacked.. sighz...

who knows what will happen... for the better or worse? i really dun wanna know... or, should i say, i don't have the courage to know...

so typical of me.. isnt it? running away when i know tat i shouldn't be.. but, like what i mentioned... i just simply isnt able to muster that sorta courage to bloat things out... who is there to blame... i guess, myself ba...



ran 12km today... tired... and, muscles aches... and, chest pains... whatever aliments which you can think of about running, i have it... oh man... took great pains to complete the whole run... weekends are just so "poisoning"... i guess, i am already being "poisoned" by them... but, willingly, i love it.. hahaha... !

oh... one more fact, i succeeded in making my first day of w/o SMS-ing! a great feat... but, who knows what does that means... probably, only i know the real answer...............

there are..

many things i do.. which comes with a purpose..

i want to get things i hope to get..

i need to do things to achieve whatever i want..

at the very least, i dont do things without thinking of the consequences(sometimes la..)..

but, i do want to make things easy to decipher and understand w/o having much of a thought..

and, for that, i hope you understand..



anyway, was watching this show on cable tv..

pretty nice.. interesting.. hahaha..

it takes load of courage to be with a partner who is 7 yrs older than u r.. especially when the female gender is the more matured party..

but, the show make it so simple... no wonder, it is a show.. :D

who knows.. maybe things can just be that simple.. and, i hope it does!

p.s.: i am so tanned!!! skin is orange in colour la.. *pengs*

many many things...

there are many reasons for someone to do something...

i wonder if you realise..

it could be as simple as that... or, could be as complicated as life..

but, if you see it through, it is pretty easy to understand too...

just whether you choose to believe in it or not..

see.. even tying of shoelaces come with a purpose.. the purpose of not wanting to step, trip and fall on it.. it is just that simple..

when a driver drives faster.. he just simply wants to reach his destination faster... see.. another example..

:) :) :)

a walk of thoughts...

had an hr of walk the night before...

from hougang back to serangoon..

on the way back, had quite a number of thoughts...

was listening to music... swinging my hands... taking a bottle of mineral water, a car scent and bottle of windscreen washer...

swung them up and down... singing away...

then, i thought... eh... actually life is quite like a radio...

one's mood can be easily affected by the music that is playing at that percise moment..

if it is a hyped up music that is playing, u will just feel so hip.. swinging ard like there is no boundary..

when it is a love song playing, u will just feel sorta emotional..

so, yup.. can conclude that music does affect pple's mood..

who wouldn't want the music playing to be always a happy one.. ?

who wouldnt want it to play the type of music that u want.. ?

everyone wants something they hope to get... but, in the end, its either they show the willingness to go achieve it... or, they just simply hide away from it... hoping that one day, it will come to them automatically...

well, i guess i can be categorized as the latter... hahaha... not very good.. but, what to do.. i m "constructed" this way...

and...

i totally hate insecurity...

make me feel insecure, i will just hide.. hide from reality..

whoops!

here i am! blogging away.. hahaha..

see.. what have had happened...

oh.. had a 8km run on tuesday.. likewise, almost died after the run.. haha.. even though the "kick" wasnt as bad as the first time i had the 5km run, i still felt rather exhausted.. guess i am starting to get into the "show" ba.. which is sorta a good sign.. maybe shld just keep making myself run.. to condition myself and adapt back to the military lifestyle.. hahaha!

wednesday... mainly tuang-ed my way thru the whole day! hahaha.. went to do some work-related stuff ard the camp.. had abit of "tough"(slpy) time while doing it.. but, got thru somehow.. cant really rmbr what i did at the later part of the day.. suffering from amnesia... ? hahaha..

thursday.. which is today.. did many many things.. going back to main HQ to do a test which i already did.. but, the first time wasnt counted.. tat explains why i got my a*s back there.. sorta hated to do such a test.. whereby must be very mindful of what i choose in the MCQ... coz, once failed, no one would wanna know what u gotta do next.. hahaha.. somehow, got some "external" help though.. and, got thru! hahaha.. shiok.. another boulder down the shoulder.. heehee... had a cohesion dinner with the whole HQ.. was forced to drink beer.. yucks.. hate it sia.. beer.. omg.. make me feel so yucky la! dont understand why pple like to drink it lor... just some yellowish substance.. worse of all.. smells damn irritating too... wats more.. when a few drops of it get into ur clothing.. u reek the smell of it! yucks!!! irritating yellow substance.. and, it makes my stomach somehow bloated... guess i m just not the kind to drink it..

tmr... new batch of recruits coming in.. and, i am involved in facilitating the whole show.. as, ursher!!! again.. kns... hope i dun get as "tanned" as i was like friday.. making me feel so "two-coloured"... =D

nothing much to say.. Period.

shuang!

actually, not abit of shuang at all la..

worked the whole day.. gotta skip my lunch..

only had my first actual meal of the day at abt 1730hrs..

see.. taking miser pay.. yet, working like a career man..

wateva the case, just feel so shitty today..

kept thinking of the problems i having.. but, only till now, the actual feelings are taking a toll off me..

why? i know the reason.. but, having some difficulties in spelling it all out..

see.. must always act as if nothing have had happened.. probably, this is nan ren's headache ba..

knowing that things had happened.. but yet, cannot spell it out..

zhen shi tong ku.. so, ladies.. pls stop saying that u wanna be a guy in ur next life.. coz, u will probably regret in the end.. :)

boohooo~~

人生有很多事是无常的。。很多你以为你了解。。但，不是你想象中的那么简单。。外表上很简单的一个感觉，并不代表是真正的意识。。所以，不要太相信眼前的一切。。因为，你只会伤害到自己。。

i just cant believe that i am so naive enough to believe in myself.. always taking things into hand.. and, never doubting the things i perceive could be wrong.. but, as for what how i see the things are progressing, i started to doubt in myself..

what can be said of it.. ?

i guess, i could only start thinking of how i can minimise the thought now... as, at the ultimate end, i should be protecting myself.. rather than being exposed to what is going on out there..

sounds like a sad entry, rite?

no idea why i am writing all these.. outta spontaneity ba..

anyway, was thinking of it all the way...

wonder, why.. why became so emotional again... ?

but, i dun want to know the answer.. coz, i think, there isnt a need for me to know too..

ahhhh...!!! incoherent again... been being like this for the past few days...

probably, work has gotten into me.. hahaha.. now, blame it on work!

so, Mr. Government.. please let me have another long break again.. it will be very appreciated.. *weeEee~*

some..

some people are just selfish...

the thought of satisfying own..

really perks one up and doing the wrong thing in the end...

but, whatever you do, i can do better, k?

so, to conclude, i can be selfish too!


人是自私的。。我也不例外。。

(ps: the above mentioned has got no relation to whatsoever of my life at all.. just plainly wanna mention only..)

courage!

ok.. it take loads of guts for me to own this up..

hahaha.. although alot of the pple out there knows this.. but still, i decide i must acknowledge it..

yeah.. here it comes...

i suck at ball games...

hahaha... no big deal, rite?

i thought so too.. still, it dun feel right to be always this way lei..

though, i have no intention to brush up skills with the "balls"

hahaha...

been observing ard.. and somehow, friends who recently got themselves single.. are like attracting opposite gender suitors like how the bees get attracted to honey..

why ah... dun understand lei..

issit tat people just cant stand the fact of being lonely.. ?

if it is abt that, totally can understand.. coz, i cant stand that kinda feeling too...

still, there are times we just gotta suck it up.. coz, "choice" aint kind enough to be always there for you to use.. that is unless you are really very attractive la.. which is one thing i lack.. lol!

oh man.. feel so crapped up recently.. many things i wanna do.. yet, dread doing..

how.. ?

alright.. think i shall end this entry.. but, before i do so, here is my best wishes to those who are facing problems/troubles in their life.. may it be on relationship, kinship, friendship or financially, hopefully everything will come to terms and be better for you! :)