ron for life!

my only channel..

2008-06-20T00:35:00.002+08:00

i guess.. this is my only channel to voice out how i feel during this period of time..

i really feel very bad lately..

coz, i havent been myself and not the way others think i am..

i dun know how i turned into the one i am today..

but, i too, do not want any change in me..

i just simply cant stop myself from thinking..

thinking of things tat i never wish to happen from happening..

the mere thought of me needing to face the uncertain future just simply freaks me out..

i am afraid... afraid of what lies infront of u and me..

but, everytime when i see you, the feeling just dispells away...

it makes me feel so loved.. and treasured..

departing from you always make me feel sad...

sad tat i need to wait for a full day just to have our moments together...

besides that, am afraid of needing to face all the uncertainties alone.. which i never want to...

but, what must come will come...

and, i always thought, going thru the half yr to first yr period is always a difficult and trying one..

for, tats one reason i really find it very hard to let u go whenever we have to depart..

coz, there is only one reasoning for it... i love you too much...

a little too late...

2008-06-11T04:00:00.002+08:00

alright.. heres it.. though, like how the title describes this blog, its better to be late than never.. :D

anyway, looking back.. 2yrs 1day ago.. rushing down to pasir ris from my place.. accompanied by then-gf and family members.. i embarked into a journey where all male citizens of singapore has to go thru.. a test of character, endurance and of course, both mental and physical torture..

looking back those days, like how many others describe, it was a journey which i am sure tat i will never forget.. not abt now.. not abt later.. but, its the future..

it really helps quite somehow tat i have stepped into this long long route..

from being a teenager to a man.. at least this is what being told to us... the "special" transformation of National Service... can be considered as "magic" too.. :D

oh well, definately, i learnt many many things in the force..

be it positive or negative, they are all lessons well learnt... though some might be very difficult to handle.. nonetheless, been there done tat!

from the journey into BMTC(Basic Military Training Centre).. up to SISPEC(School of Infantry Specialist).. winding down to ATI(Armour Training Institute).. swindling my way to AFS(Air Force School) and lastly, to 40SAR(Singapore Armoured Regiment)...

oh man.. the journey seems pretty short for a 2yrs stint, right? but, like i always maintain, outsiders might see it a short period of time.. but, the one in the picture finds it very torturous.. and, YES! torturing to me, k! (at least i dare to admit...)

its not always tat bad though... as i look back, thru this journey, i have found numerous amount of friends whom i dare say, good friends! why? coz, we been through thick and thin together! motivating each other.. slacking, playing and even bathing together!

hahaha.. i must say, those times were simply too fun to be even described out in words!

these people definately left a mark in me.. a mark each saying my story in the army...

with that, finally, i am now officially a civilian! :)

bo gay(toothless)

2008-05-27T12:26:00.002+08:00

went to extract all 4 of my wisdom tooth last week...

suffered swollen cheeks during the weekend till now...

makes it looks like pig trotters face.. :X

anyway, was really a pain ah...

suffered a number of infections causing fevers during the course of it..

was really quite inconvenient ah..

which makes me look back at my decision to extract all 4 at one go..

hated taking antibiotics.. but, w/o them, seems like i m very vulnerable to viral attacks..

ah.. looking at the packets of medications subscripted to me, makes me realise, it is actually my first time taking so many pills at a go..

total 6 little pills to consume everytime.. 3 times a day somemore..

where do all the pills go after entering the body? dissolved and spread around my body? doesnt tat makes me a pill boy? hehs...

anyway, things are pretty fine lately.. just a few hiccups here or there... and one major issue surfaced..

it has been lingering in my mind ever since i got news of it that one of my best childhood friend's father just passed away..

learnt abt it tat it was sudden death tat caused his passing on..

it really makes me feel the vulnerability of life..

at one moment, things might turn out fine.. while on another, it could turn ugly..

knowing that my friend's personality is pretty strong, but yet, felt so weak when he broke the news to me, makes me feel very upset.. as i could not render much help at that point of time..

if there is ever a chance tat i could speak to the grim reaper, i would really request for him/her to go on unpaid leave.. coz, he must be a very tired person.. very very tired, especially after the natural disasters tat happened recently.. so, if you r hearing this, could u pls approve of my request?

put that aside.. doesnt sound nice to talk abt this thing here..

Meanings for flowers...

2008-05-22T22:34:00.002+08:00

Something to share with you all...

Been looking for it for some time.. and, finally, i've found it!

The meaning for number of flowers...

3 I love you
6 I want to be yours
9 Forever in Love
10 You're perfect
11 You are my treasured one
12 Be mine
15 I'm truly sorry
20 I'm truly sincere towards you
21 I'm committed to you
24 Forever yours
32 Miss you
36 You light up my life
48 True love
50 Golden memories
99 Be mine & make me complete
100 Totally in love with you
101 You're my only one
108 Will you marry me?
365 Missing you every day
999 Endless love

Hahhaa... 999 stalks of flowers.. ? i think it will be as heavy as the weights in the gym! :D

*ps, how true the above is? i cant answer u.. therefore, just take it for some basic knowledge will do! :)

s*cks.. BIG TIME!

2008-05-14T06:16:00.003+08:00

lately, my life really suc*..

nothing seems to go right for me..

everything just comes in a chuck.. and, at times, i wonder, when will i break down..

if that happens, what kinda person will i be..

what will happen in the future?

will there be one for me.. ?

took time to ponder upon these questions.. and, just like what others will think.. yes, i dun have an answer to it..

but, the mere thought of it scares me..

why am i given this "chance" to think about these.. ?

what i perceive as happiness and simplicity has all turned out to be an illusion..

a mirage.. ?

surely and simply, i hope it isnt...

if all these happenings are just a test to my character, then, i can tell you, i seriously fluck it big time...

really.. nothing seems to go right.. simply nothing..

it just needs one small spark to create a forest fire... and yes, this time rd, it isnt gonna be easy to clear what had happened...

and, i totally feel it..

no, to your answer if all these i have just said is about my rs...

like i mentioned.. its for EVERYTHING... and, it is inclusive..

really feel like running away from all these.. the thought of it just thrills me.. running away...

maybe tat can be a choice too...

really feel like just breaking down.. and get myself into a hibernating mode.. isolating from the messes..

it will all happen after my SOC test.. when i pass it.. i'll start to think it thru..

me..

2008-05-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

i am collapsing.. i am..

mother's day

2008-05-12T11:10:00.000+08:00

all i can say about this day is, i'm utterly disgusted.

untitled..

2008-05-08T12:20:00.002+08:00

been really long since i last updated...

anyway, lately, aint feeling really gd..

many things attributed to the above statement ah..

for instance,

still, there are many quarrels in our relationship... really hope that there aint any.. but, if there isnt any, then, we aint progressing.. such irony.. in a relationship, everyone or anyone dreads quarrelling.. but still, w/o it, the people involved will never be able to know each other better..

so, which is better? one which braves through the danger of breaking up by having frequent quarrels or one that never progresses.. each living in a world of decieve and deniance.. ?

as time goes by, one can really turn disillusioned by what they are seeking in love.. is it the sense of courtship? or, just merely a companion in their life.. ?

i don't know what is for me.. but, i sure can sense that i dun need love.. coz, she is more impt than love.. :)

another thing which contributed to my sadness.. ORD... my friends are slowly ORD-ing from the force... and, yes.. only a handful of us are left...

from this little handful, of course, i am inclusive.. oh well, like how others view it as just simply another month then, we'll be receiving the same freedom which some of us are tasting.. but, as an outsider, they will never understand how those involved feel.. personally, i can really say that i am struggling.. struggling to live up to my past standards... wanting the best outta the time i have in the force.. but, till which level i have achieved, i really dun know.. just wanna live the time in it to its fullest.. tats what i can assure myself over...

next, many many small things ah.. gonna have my wisdom tooth extracted next week.. aiya.. abit scare lei.. geez... dun know what to do ah.. :X

SOC is another pain in the a*s.. timing taken from the trial.. abit inconsistent... sometimes, can run, sometimes cant.. running shldnt be much of an issue.. most imptly, must be able to clear the obstacles ah.. which, still now, i aint very confident in.. although i passed the timing and obstacles yesterday.. but, tat doesn't mean i can do the same during the test..

with the wisdom tooth extraction on the way, i wonder if i can keep myself in the condition i am now.. 1 week of MC.. then, totally no training at all.. oh my germaine!!!(*oOops*) :)

yesterday on my way back from woodlands, wa lao.. met with this inconsiderate fool in the train.. like many have experienced, this is my first time brushing shoulder with such an inconsiderate idiot.. he was blasting his hp music away lor.. i mean, if it is done in an open area, i wont barge de lor.. but, this as*hole actually continued with his ungracious act ah...

throughout the whole journey, was enduring the loud music blasting from his hp.. many a times, i took a glance at that idiot.. and, i am pretty sure he saw how annoyed i was.. but yet, still, doing it the way he was..

really felt he ought to be shot lah... wonder if there is any law stating that no individual shld create a nuisance outta themselves in the public.. if there really is one, i wonder if i can lodge a case against him.. hahaha.. *typical singaporean.. complaining/whining yet no action taken* =X

anyway, just a friendly reminder to all... pls be more attentive to your surrounding.. do what you like.. but, spare a thought for others too.. k? thanks.. =)

point taken...

2008-04-20T22:20:00.003+08:00

remember coming through an article which states travelling/holidaying is one of the most memorable way to spend your money...

and, i totally agree with it...

why do i say so?

coz, my recent bangkok trip really makes me think tat it is gonna be one of the most memorable, probably due to the fatigue it brought to me, travelling trip i ever had...

nonetheless, it may be tiring... it may be saddening, but, it comes to a point whereby it lets me know the importance of her...

she let me know where she stood in me during the trip... allowing me to curb my temper numerous times... letting me know my newest fear, her temper, in me.. so many so many more!

hahaha... am really glad tat we met and become what we are today.. :)

单纯 ?

2008-04-06T18:21:00.003+08:00

simplicity.. the talk topic of the day..

spent some time thinking about this term.. on how it applies to "爱情"...

is it in all relationships, it must be "爱到死去活来", "永远要新鲜" or even "一切要完美" ?

would all these feelings equate to "永恒" ?

i always thought, in a relationship, as long as both parties are "真心向爱" they are both able to brave through all problems be it either simple or complicated..

"真爱" to a ger or a guy, does it means, "不赌，不喝，不嫖" is sufficient.. ?

to me, it is just tat simple.. and this is truly and really what i thought..

it all need not be "轰轰烈烈的爱情" or "刻骨铭心".. all i require is just one "真诚的爱" and thats more than enough.. and, to achieve it, you just gotta show your sincerity..

is it really that difficult to.. ?

cant problems be solved and troubles be braved together as a couple?

does being tripped over the hurdle(problem/trouble) means there is no way they can stand up together and move ahead.. ?

wouldn't all be wonderful and perfect if both could stand up and look forward together?

on a personal note...,

i am very sure that i will be more than just willing to perform all these if given a chance to...

but, will you.. ?

let me assure u that what i have said and done, like i have always emphasized, is no lip service..

what i have done in the past, is really outta what i wanna do.. no fake act or anything whatsoever..

maybe it was the lack of slp.. or, maybe it is just me.. but, i do hate feeling nausea and lethargic.. As dizziness sips in quietly.. still, i gotta do what is require of me..

dearest.. i love u...

i crossed the line..

2008-03-29T16:17:00.001+08:00

yeah.. i did crossed it...

and for that, i have just gotta lose it..

why did i do so.. ?

coz, nothing is more important than her..

bye bye, facebook.

agonising pain...

2008-03-28T12:04:00.002+08:00

i hate compensations..

hate hate hate... !!!

why is there something in this world called temper...

maybe coz i have a bad one myself.. tats why i always feel the pain whenever she throws it on me.. :(

i almost experienced it!

2008-03-21T08:46:00.002+08:00

been very busy lately.. thought i had times whereby could update my blog.. but, decided not to.. probably coz i chose to procrastinate! hahaha.. :D

anyway, had an outfield last week...

almost gotten foot rot...

both my feet was soaked in rain water for like close to 2 days la.. before i decided to take it out and squeeze off the water..

weather has been really really bad lately... they(meteorology) said tat it was due to some moist before blown over by the wind... thats why we are experiencing these short and sometimes heavy rainpours..

hahaha.. due to the rain, i think, i could label my outfield as one of the worst i have been through during my this 21 months in service ah...

and, due to the rain, i had flu and rashes on my feet!!! *bOohOo!*

now, after one week from the outfield... i'm sick again!!!

lots of phlegm in my throat... blocked nose.. and such... wa lao.. so sway.. :( :( :(

ahhh! someone just cut out my throat and clear the phlegm for me.. can?

a promise...

2008-03-02T02:32:00.002+08:00

thats something which resulted me in waiting in the vehicle for 1hr..

not realising that there wasnt any fresh air flowing in with the air conditioning turned off, i stood there.. hoping that the promise will be met..

wanted to stay for a longer period.. but, my sense tell me.. maybe, there are other ways of doing it.. so, i turned back and headed up...

true enough, things could have changed.. but, due to my hasty movement to the vehicle, i left my phone, which was ringing, back at home..

for that, the whole story took a twist for the worse..

likewise from the past, felt that everything went wrong.. immediately, headed back to the veh.. wanting to head to places to look for her.. just to find out halfway thru that she is at home..

drove aimlessly.. aimlessly.. ended up at many places which i didnt know.. felt myself as a road hazard... so, decided to stop.. just to find out, ah.. at a reservior.. a place which we wanted to go together..

stayed there for quite sometime before deciding to plug all my courage to send a message out.. yet, to no avail in my hopes of any reply... so, i stood disappointed with what i hoped for..

so, i went on with my journey of senseless driving..

this is where i chanced upon a place called kent ridge park... looks pretty nice...

went to the dark corners of the park alone.. felt so cold and helpless.. stood there for a while as the cold breezes sweep pass my befallen face.. waking me up from my own world.. sending the chills down my spine..

as soon as i know, i was heading back to the veh... again, hopping into my senseless and aimless drive down the deserted roads...

before i know it, ended up at her place.. hoping to see her.. but yet, as much as i know, returned with negative results...

tat was when i know, its time to go.. i can no longer be so immature in my actions.. i should start doing what i ought to be doing.. not what my heart desires... but, what my mind tells me to...

looking forward for...

2008-02-16T23:41:00.002+08:00

this is all i am looking forward for..

but, am afraid that when it comes, it will end fast!!!

i want to be together with u long enuff! *huGz*

valentines' day...

2008-02-14T23:02:00.002+08:00

every year this day, i seem to be jinxed to being alone..

almost did not end up this fate.. but yet, it turned out different..

firstly, was being stopped from applying what i felt was a well deserved break from work.. judging from what seems pretty free for me.. yet, proved to be different...

there after, was rather resigned in my fate for the need to stay back... tried very hard to complete as much as i could... and, immediately after that, headed out to go see the one i hoped so much to see...

nonetheless, it took an adverse turn.. a turn which i never thought would have been...

probably, i hurt u too much.. always giving u the unfair treatment.. never once gave u the luxury of time.. always wanting this and that.. but yet, never failed to disappoint u..

i know i am selfish.. i know that i am insensitive.. but, by telling you that i was blinded by love, it couldn't rate up to a reasonable answer for the hurt i incurred on you..

but, the fact is i really am... the more i love.. the more i feel insecured... maybe that is what expectations are... the higher hopes you have, the more afraid u feel tat u will end up with nothing..

disagree? at least it is pretty true for me..

wanted so much to give you a surprise... a hug... and tell u wat was in my mind... but, never got a chance to...

sorry to hurt u... sorry for robbing your happiness away from you... i am truly regretful... :<

turbulence...

2008-02-10T02:50:00.000+08:00

everything today seems to be of a roller coaster ride...

going down to the lowest... and after which, headed up... and, went down again..

oh my g~

of course, like anyone, i would like it always to be happy...

but, i really need to try harder..

like what i mentioned.. i really wanna "zhen xi yan qian ren"...

i dun want to miss out on her..

all i could remember, "guo le zhe ge zhan, mei you zhe ge che le"...

i dun want to put all these in my book of regrets...

so, i will do all i can to retain it...

even if it means going thru my lousy past.. be it good or bad, i just want her to know it all!

on top of all..

2008-02-09T03:15:00.000+08:00

4 drops of tear..

1 smile..

amazed!

2008-02-07T23:03:00.002+08:00

amazingly, i feel like settling down le...

just dun understand myself..

such spontaneous

first lesson of the lunar calender!

2008-02-07T16:33:00.000+08:00

now, i finally understand what others meant by, "take my breathe away"...

coz, i m having the feel of it now...

dunno whether it is the health or mind affecting it...

but, ultimately, it does affect... >.<~

difference...

2008-02-06T23:45:00.000+08:00

the mood is just so different...

i strongly doubt tat i have felt this way during the past r/s...

i just feel so affected...

even if it meant the slightest of all...

so wanna just close my eyes and stop thinking...

but, i cant... it just weights so much...

feel like i am be suffocated somehow...

the ache.. the lessen breathing counts... everything accumulating... >.<~

procrastinate..

2008-02-06T18:34:00.000+08:00

been procrastinating ever since i came back from thailand..

wanted to do so many things.. but yet, like the title suggests, not achieving much...

oh well, blogging is one of them.. although, during one occasion, wanted to blog.. but, blogger was somewhat not responding..

anyway, am in camp now.. doing duty... hate it when i am already missing my family, my loved one and my everything so much but still, being put on duties.. this is probably what happens when people think that you have been slacking/enjoying while being attached overseas...

while surfing the net, i chanced upon this article which states "Pregnancy impairs memory"..

sorta left me thinking.. if thats the case, wouldnt it be much of disadvantageous to ur partner if you want to procreate?

wouldnt u be selfish to want set up a family.. ?

wouldnt it be sacrificial for ur partner even though she is agreeable.. ?

with that, maybe i shld think twice or even thrice before deciding to set up a family...

but, in the first place, is there someone willing to do this for u.. ?

with that, i asked myself.. and, the first thought was, "NO"...

hahaha.. didn't know why and how i derive to that answer.. maybe due to my current state of mind... doesnt look or seem healthy.. but, that is my thought now.. no denying at all...

nevertheless, just want to end this entry with a happy note.. Happy Chinese New Yr to all! May all good returns and bad begone! ;)

i must and i have to!

2008-01-10T10:31:00.000+08:00

control!!!

have more self-control with my feelings and everything of me!

why.. ? coz, i find that there is a need for it...

I don't want to frighten her off... :X

Anyway, am going to Thailand for the rest of the month...

Gosh... Wanted so much to make a skip over it... But, no choice... was somewhat "forced" to go lah... :<

Lastly, just wanna say i miss her.. :)

Summarizing 2007...

2008-01-06T19:26:00.000+08:00

Been quite some time since i last blogged.. As such, i think, for my this long-awaited entry onto my digital diary, it should be slightly longer as from the norm.. :P

So, beware! =P

Alright... as per the a/b mentioned... i think, i should highlight on the key events/memories of what happened in 2007 on me... (at least they are the ones that are still in my mind.. :P)

Hmmm... start of the year... I think on January

Went Taiwan for my finale stint at School of Armour... was really a tiring one.. especially the cleaning up session spent there.. Wa.. can die lah... make me feel so like a slave... doing all the cleaning and such.. Please lor.. i don't even clean up my room... what do you expect much? :P

The time at Taiwan was really a highlight sia.. Braving the cold weather.. learning how to appreciate the people around me, my section mates.. my platoon mates.. my course mates.. wa... really miss the time there.. :X

Weather was tat cold till training was cancelled... the sleepless nights... the nights which make me feel like a bangala... Hahaha... too bad i don't have a chance to show u the photos of the bunk.. you will be shocked for sure!

The night after the range... My conversation with my follow section mate was overheard by my Plt Sgt... HAHAHA! damn funny lah... stupid Shengyuan.. Lucky enough for both of us... My Plt Sgt find it more of humourous than offensive.. :D

One more thing about the Taiwan training... saw a dog which was badly hurt by a stupid civilian car driver.. it was so badly hurt till i could see its leg's bone sticking out lor... Although it is just an animal, but, my heart still went out to it... so poor thing lah... so wanna help it... but, i cant... not within my discretion to do so...

Ah!!! And, the R&R at Taiwan.. wah lao!!! So nice lah!! Was on a shopping spree there lor... Spending so simply... My first time doing such big spending on clothings lor... On top of that, sneaking out during the night to go have a "taste" of Taiwan's night life... was really impressive... an eye opener, indeed! :P

Next went along during on Feb, was my passing out parade from the School of Armour..

Finally.. after 5mths of rigorous training, i am getting the three stripes which took me nearly 10mths to achieve... a new chapter of begins when one closes in...

The 5mths... many things happened... from the navigation exercises... to the dirty job of maintaining my vehicle.. onto the moments of laughters in the bunk... lastly, to the tiring times during outfield... everything seems so detailed in my mind... making it all feels like happened just yesterday...

But, it was all rewarded with a merit award during my passing out parade... the Silver Bayonet.. nothing big deal.. but, at least, it was an affirmation over the efforts i have given in during the close-to-half-yr time there...

Most importantly, the friends i make back then.. making it all feel so worthwhile... Great people... great companions.. and great buddies in times of need! :)

Straight after passing out, seeing my friends all being posted to active units, i was the only one whom headed out from my vocation into another...

Went to Air Force to learn how to fly...

Looking back at this short period of time, the application didn't come easy...

Remembering the moment i tried my luck on the application back in my days at Tekong... till the moment i stepped into it, it took me more than 11mths to do so! Not forgetting, the 6 test tube of blood samples they drew from me... and, that little bottle of my waste... HAHAHA... all seems so worth it back then... :X

Finally signed onto the dotted line confirming my vocation as a "Pilot Trainee" just days before my birthday during the late moments of April...

Getting to know the culture of Air Force was already a cultural shock back then... From the Physical training emphasis i received during my time in the Army to the Mentally based training i get from the Air Force, it all feels so different..

Spent half a month of my time in Air Force School... Waaa... really hoped that i get such a lifestyle for the rest of my NSF days... :D

Everything was more of a self-disciplined mode unlike the time of superior-supervision treatment i received during the early part of the yr... Hahaha...

Initially, i dreaded the feeling of needing to know new people at Air Force School... but, it all turns out good... coz, i got to know 5 main different souls there... of course, there were like a few side-kicks lah... but still, i think i should mention this 5 souls i got acquitted to...

Ervin, an very capable person... Very self-disciplined... Knowing what is and have to be done everytime we looked upon him... Great personality... Tats no doubt why he gotten the Sword of Honour eh.. Anyway, on a personal note, "Hope you are doing well back in the Force... must achieve for what you set out for... Don't make it an effort wasted like how i did... And, can you kindly tell Ralph that you need not have him to teach you anymore? Hahaha... on top of that, let him put a stop to his childish comments which he forwarded to you during Stage 1 ba... (i don't want to teach you already.. you fly yourself!) LOL.."

Daren, a very street smart person... who gets a hold of technology quite well... Hope you are doing good at your current vocation... Although you didnt get what you achieved, it doesnt bode misfortune, ok? Who knows... you might get to be a commercial pilot one day.. ? Look forward for the better... :) Lastly, i wish you all the best that will happen to you and your gf... :)

Zames, Zzzzzzz-ames~ Speedy Tay~ Hahaha... yes.. you still owe us a song(i dont count the one you sang back in the church... coz, it was dedicated to all... not us exclusively.. :X)... Heh heh... Likewise to what i mentioned to Ervin... Hope you get what you want! Get me those wings!!! (*Psss... if possible, get me one for remembrance sake...? :P) Stay positive always... ok? You are doing fine and great there! And, when you get married, remember to invite me hor.. ;) (PS: Yes.. i know i still yet to get the CD from you... will do so soon... hahahah... :X)

Nicholas, the quietest of us all... Hahaha... What to say about this guy.. ? Errr... but actual fact, i find you very intelligent... Knowing of what you want... and what you set out for... Maybe, the time at Air Force wasnt what you were looking for... But, i am very sure that you will achieve the high of your life outside... Finish ur time in the Army one piece, ok, combatant!? :D

Last but not the least, Ashley... Eh, pharmacist-to-be... the super mugger of our batch... HAHAHA... can also be considered the closest to me during my time there... Hahaha.. really enjoyed the time at the recruitment centre, school and air grading centre with you... Yup... remembering the moments whereby we were networking with each other on Winning Eleven even when we are in our individual room's toilet... HAHAHA... was really fun... another thing... Middlesbrough is still losing out to Manchester United... we are just so gonna trash your team lor.. :D

Then, it all came to the moment i took the flight to the Air Grading Centre... Australia, Tamworth...

Was much more of happy than nervous when i embarked onto the journey...

But, it all turned to a nightmare when i arrived there...

Shall not mention on what happened... just that, it slowly make me realise that the life i looked upon to during the 10mths as an NSF was what i perceive now as an illusion...

And, yes, i dropped out... whether by coincidence prior to my decision above or any other things, it all boils down to much of *Oops~* :D

Coming on to June... did my exit from Air Force and back to Army... had a somewhat "final" gathering with the above mentioned friends... meeting most of their other halfs... and of course, inclusion of Melissa, our young and RICH psycho... hahaha... yes.. i still think that she is rich lor... Fancy driving a RX-8... at such a young age... wa lao... who will believe you are drawing a miser pay!? LOL... :D

On came July... my entry to the current unit... Hahaha... very dreadful but still, didnt have the luxury of choice... ended up into a combat unit... :X

First person which i encountered? Chris... Hahaha... the disruptee from service... the already-in-the-force since 2003 guy... Hahaha... frankly, he dont look like the rich kid he is lor... But, the eventual fact, he is from a much well-to-do family...

Although, i must say, his mentality is much of a difference from my.. but yet, to each of his own... i wish you all the best in Australia man... make it big... and, one day, i shall visit you there! heehee... :D

Met many good souls at my current unit... from the previous superiors, Cpt Ho, Staff Chris(Although quite debate-able of us capabilities...), Staff Ong, JG, Ben Ben, Binghan, Martin, ZiXian, Yanxiang, William, Tuangster(U know who you are...), YS and, yes.. wont forget you lah, "Lin Jia Xiao Hai"... plus many many others... it was really nice working with you all... although there were moments of toughness and slackness in both mix, i still enjoyed... as such, lets look forward for better times up ahead, ok!?

Lastly, .... my time from November 9th till now... met with the special her...

Bring my mood into a roller coaster ride... Having the Ups and Downs... although i must say, most of the time, it was at the Ups... :D, but, the times of Downs really brought me to the rock bottom...

December 24th-25th... Our first Christmas outing... at the we-both-know-where location.. was really a pleasant one.. Walked through the path 2 times in total.. Hahaha... so nice... never felt walking at that time at that place would feel so great..

December 28th... Ah... lovely moment at the again-we-both-know-where location... Heh heh... remember to take good care of the "witness" over our start.. k? ;)

Like what we both said, it all happens so unexpectedly... so, let us bring it on to an expectedly happy picture, ok?

I know it isnt easy or fair for you... having to wait for some many period of time... from small(China) to big ones(Thailand, Australia)... nevertheless, i hope we both go through these together... must try... alright?

Looking forward onto many many more Ups with you... :)

As such, i guess, i will end this entry... it is quite long enough, isnt it... ? So much so that i am sorta lazy to read it through before publishing it... so, bare with all the tenses mistake and such... :)

low self esteem...

2007-12-12T21:54:00.001+08:00

it is in me...

fast? slow?

2007-11-22T22:52:00.000+08:00

completed 4 duties commitment starting from deepavali till last tuesday...

which means, in a space not more than 20 days, i completed 4 duties which includes 1 weekend, 1 public holiday and 2 weekdays..

wooohooo.. leaving me just 2 more duties to cover from now till early december.. and, after which, i will be saying good bye to duties! at least for the whole of 2007 lah.. :P

oh well, things have been pretty hectic for me..

from the numerous duties i need to perform... the shitload of work commitments given by my higher command... u wont believe what i have been through under the wraths of this horrible person i am under.. -_-"

hate it when people just simply "tai-chi" their commitments and responsibilities away..

the worst of all... still can go around slacking while others are slogging their lungs out... omg... how well he have carried himself as someone i shld be looking up upon.. tsk tsk tsk...

anyway.. i am home now!

came back home for two reasons...

first of all, needed to change my bodyfoam... as i suspect the one i have been using in camp is causing me some skin allergy... making me itch terribly... the itch is so bad that i just simply scratch and scratch and scratch throughout... so much for its "anti-bacteria" capability... killing the bacteria... yet, giving me skin irritation... whats the point.. ?

next, wanted to buy a new hp for me... it is on promotional pricing for today and tmr...

thinking i could get myself a good pre-christmas pressie... but, to my dismay, i didnt get it eventually...

wanted it since it came into the market... nevertheless, still got to give it a miss even though it is such a completely nice deal... :<

and, for that, i guess, my night is totally ruined... *sighz*

still harping on it...

2007-11-11T17:23:00.000+08:00

recently, around my surroundings, there are many friends of my are involved in relationships..

so, lets talk abit about it..

how much can one individual be in love with another?

so much so that it starts to change one's personality?

this is exceptionally true to many guys out there..

why do i say so.. ?

well, coz, it sorta implies for me too..

when it all started, two comes together as a complete stranger..

may it be through studying, by introducing from another friend.. or even as a complete unacquintance state, friendship is always the first stage of all..

being friends, many things can be done..

they can talk about the earth... the sky... even the simplest things around them..

they joke together.. laugh together.. goes to an outing together.. basically, anything under the sun..

and, when Cupid strikes, things change...

the laughter they used to have, will only apply through the "honeymoon" period.. even if there is any at a later part of the relationship, it will be of its minimal..

why does such a thing happen?

well, the only deduction i can come out with.. probably, feelings change... and through changes, people will try to adapt..

when such a situation occurs, things become much more different as it used to be..

as now, feelings come into play, every single action, both party will have to consider much more before they take action.. as fear of offending the other party becomes main priority..

as far as any lovers are concern, they will try their very best to think of everything in the best interest of the other... and, therefore, the so-called "best interest" is being derived from each individual's perception of happiness...

but, bear this in mind.. not everyone's happiness is the same..

some, being simple, even the slightest and simplest thing can make his/her day... but, for others, it might need much more than just a normal effort to achieve..

so, at the point of time whereby they become very conscience of what they are doing, they might inevitably hurt their partner w/o knowledge...

why do i say so.. ? well, everyone have their own defination of happiness.. as i mentioned above.. a simple action can be derived as candid.. but, to the other? it might turn out to be offensive..

a lack of understanding in this case? yes...

but, how much do you understand about yourself?

sighz.. in conclusion... relationship is just too complicated to be trifled ard with!

but!!! as human... we are just simply looking for trouble..

the more we yearn for it, even though knowing the danger which lies within, we still go ahead with our heart's desires...

in chinese, this is known as "犯渐" ! wait.. is this the "jian" i am referring to.. ? hahaha..

pardon me for my lousy chinese! :P

ps: no! i am not attached or somewhat.. coz, not attractive enuff.. hahaha...

just wanna update...

2007-11-10T04:35:00.000+08:00

was thinking about this a few days ago...

what do guys usually see in gers.. ?

and, what is the main criteria of guys being attracted to gers.. ?

alot of guys will simply say, "Inner Beauty"...

come on.. lets be frank.. looks are very important too.. right?

hahaha.. so, being the lame me.. i found an excuse guys can give if they fancy looks more than the so-called inner beauty...

well... like many would say... Inner Beauty is the upmost importance... and, Physical Beauty is just a bonus...

and, tada... yes! that is the point one can bring out..

for instance, playing a game.. in order to achieve the objective(i.e. completing the game/quest), one have to go through many many bonus stages first before coming to an end..

So, it applies here...

firstly, to achieve a good relationship, you must first get the bonus! and, tats why many guys out there are plainly going for looks first.. before checking out the so-called inner beauty...

hahaha... damn.. i am being crappy here...

just that it has been too long since i last updated... so, i decided to utter some rubbish and show that i still remember the existance of this blog... hahaha.. :D

one other thing... recently, i have been chatting with this friend of my...

like chatting with her.. coz, through her, somehow, i will just try to use proper language.. that is of coz, english..

for that, it sorta makes me feel clever and nice.. :D

alright.. times up for all these bullshits to end.. will update if there are any more big happenings..

cheerios! :)

outta the red...

2007-10-31T23:48:00.000+08:00

hmmm... red instead of blue?

yeah..

that signals something bad is gonna happen if this goes on..

yes yes yes..

recently, things have been coming up to me one after another..

first, it was the "shopping" of post-army pick-up-studying-again syndrome..

it isnt an easy decision to make, k..

it is like a decision which will cost u tons of $$$... might even get you into debt even before you start making a regular income back into your pocket... so, it sorta take up a toll of me...

next, came along the need to save up...

oh man.. this isnt an easy part too.. especially when i am so used to spending freely, although i still make an effort to save up la.., now that i need to think of what is gonna happen as far as 7mths later.. hai.. how much can i save? or, should i ask, how much can i control my spending? it is so difficult to be stuck in a budget.. it makes me feel so bad when my friends have already decided on a dinner place.. yet, me, shouting in caution over my small and miser portion of spending power left..

makes you feel lousy at times... but, i also cant hide the achievement i felt when i see the digits in my bank acct jumping up.. (though i still find the "jumping" is rather tamed...) hahaha...

and lastly, the thing i am thinking now... hard to put it in words... but, like what i just read at someone's blog,

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens... but, will you decide to look back at the closed door or head towards the new one?"

If only looking at the new direction would be that easy... and yes... feel so emo now! >.<

one after another...

2007-10-21T21:14:00.000+08:00

another week has passed~!

sounds nice.. sounds good... sound fabulous... !

coz, every little week passed is equivalent to one more week lesser in service!

grinZ~

it is so contradicting... thinking back... before my enlistment, i was so looking forward into getting myself into service..

but now, every single day in it, i just simply feel it is damn long...

many things have changed ever since i took my first step into army..

physically, mentally and even my way of thinking!

well, probably, this is the process which everyone has been talking about...

the process of changing a boy into a man...

nothing much.. nothing less..

looking back, there is no doubt tat army taught me many things...

many things that are beneficial to me...

be it physically, or mentally... it does help me eventually to become a better man... ~

enough with it...

come to think abt it, it has been super long since i last pampered myself..

so, i gonna buy this sunglasses which i saw at my current camp..

those army kind... find it quite nice.. although the price is pretty steep... nonetheless, just gonna let me feel better somehow by getting it.. =P

actually, nothing much to update lah.. just that, the course i am attending now is kinda boring.. ~ :D

the truth...

2007-10-14T23:09:00.000+08:00

in this world of deception... no one is true... no one will be true...

coz, everyone just wants to protect themselves... protect and be unharm over the hurt one can bring to another...

you can never tell.. who is being true to you at one particular moment.. and who is not..

so, one would rather believe in the adverse rather than embracing to a thought which cease to exist...

and, in this i believe.. anyone and everyone have a small hidden agenda in their mind when they work things out.. let alone the purpose of why the job must be done..

for instance, a hardworking worker does not only work for the salary he/she looks forward to every end of the month.. he/she have the thought in mind to work up the corporate ladder.. to aim and achieve what he/she wish to obtain from the every first day he/she enters the company..

it is just so ironical to find that humanity begins to work against each other at times...

ahhh... crap... don't even know what i am uttering abt... just feel like mentioning what i am thinking..

hmmm... back to the normal me.. ~

went "shopping" for my further studies earlier this afternoon.. all the varsities which gathered at Orchard Hotel comes from aussie...

yes.. been comtemplating whether i should just stay here and get my want, a degree, or in achieving it at a foreign country... mainly for the exposure and understanding how the outside world works..

need more time to weight the differences in this two choices.. of course, the latter can turn out to be a financial burden in the end... but, it could also be advered if i work according to plans meted out for my future..

very skeptical.. very deceiving.. everyone knows... plans are make to be followed... but, rules are make to be broken...

so, i dun know if i can be disciplined enough to work hard in order to achieve my aim..

of course, i have been telling myself that it is time for me to show my own worth..

but, after going thru last week's series of lectures on my vocation, i started to cast doubts in my plans..

sometimes, one simply needs somebody to confide in.. to trash out the differences in his mind.. to seek advices from.. and to stop my mind in whirling ard weird thoughts..

sorta sick being the one everyone sees in him..

though per say, i still think that i am being locked and stoned as time goes by.. and, for that, i really dunno how this person can come into me...

still, really hope that someone strong enough is there for me...

OMG!?

2007-10-11T00:32:00.000+08:00

argh... been feeling very tired lately...

staying out isnt a good idea...

need to rush up and down to and fro from the camp...

the part which requires me to return to camp was still pretty fine..

but, the other part of it, the returning journey, was sorta tiring man!

even though i got people to fetch me to the MRT station, it was still a long journey back home...

besides the travelling journey, the lessons i am having now is also mind draining...

draining every single little energy off me... squeezing me dry like a piece of towel...

arg... !

crazy week...

2007-10-06T14:09:00.000+08:00

the past week have really gotten up to me...

feeling old... feeling sick and tired... feeling weak.. and lastly, feeling lousy!

all sorta negative feelings, ya?

yeah...

had physical training much of the past week...

started out with the normal 5 basic exercises... and, 1.5km run rd the camp..

was still doing fine during the first day of the week...

up till the second, was really still doing good.. just that, after the 4.5km run, really feel lousy.. although coming in second of the cohort was like sorta fine for me.. still, i felt the stamina is diminishing day after day... does that means age is catching up with me.. ?

ha! just 23 and i am thinking of ageing.. thats sorta fast.. but, cant help it.. ~

then, came the most torturous training a combatant has to go through...

SOC!!!

frankly, i dun even know what is the purpose for me taking up that training..

firstly, it was a last minute inclusion to the training schedule... i was only told about it 30mins before the programme starts.. ??

oh come on... i am just human.. i have things which i dread doing.. and, like many others, SOC happens to be one of them...

w/o being mentally prepared... w/o having sufficient sleep the night before... w/o having water paraded... w/o having an explanation for my last minute inclusion, i still went ahead...

just simply becoz i wanna have a "taste" of doing SOC at the camp where i spent 3mths of my life at...

first obstacle, had abit of difficulty in overcoming it.. maybe due to the long period of time being absent from it, (oh come on.. my last SOC attempt was 9mths ago...), nevertheless, cleared it with abit of struggle.. btw, i was carrying an additional weight of abt 3kg off the criteria, so, i am not weak, ok!?

passed the rest with a breeze except the low rope.. likewise from the first obstacle, took abit of struggle to get thru it... overcoming it eventually.. :D

after clearing, we had to make a full attempt again.. this time rd, not covering the high obstacles.. but, inclusive of the run down.. 800m fr start.. and 700m fr end..

this time rd, din manage to clear low rope.. it was like, "OMG.. failing at that station again?!" and, yes.. i couldn't overcome it.. hahaha.. :X

but, though failing one station, i still manage to clear the running part first in my cohort.. lucky for me.. guess the others were just sorta low morale.. therefore, allowing me to overtake them.. hahaha.. ;)

then came the monsterous IPPT training on thursday... wa liew.. till now, the training is still giving me the aches all over my body!!! geez...

overall, all these training have made me realise one thing... that is...

I NEED MORE TRAINING!!! and, I WILL TRAIN HARD AGAIN!!!

remembering... "Do it once, do it good! And, begone with it!!!" :)

all outta sudden...

2007-09-30T21:53:00.000+08:00

i feel...

i want...

to...

meet the special someone soon...

although there were many passers-by...

very eligible...

very attractive...

very the-type-that-i-want...

but, i still dunno why it doesnt work out at all...

therefore, i really hope tat i will get to meet up with that someone whom i have been looking for...

may she appear soon.............................................................

out of a sudden...

2007-09-29T04:03:00.000+08:00

i feel so lazy... really lazy...

defination...

2007-09-23T15:23:00.001+08:00

if success means one have to be despicable to achieve his/her aims, will you do it.. ?

if failure means being ignorant of whats happening around you, will you do it.. ?

see.. both are very well definded terms... simple to understand... easy to achieve..

but, how far will you go into trying to get to them... ?

will u use underhand methods just to achieve your so-called success.. ?

or, will you just hide underneath your blanket and feign ignorance of your surrounding.. waiting for something to happen.. ?

haahaa...

let me put an analogy to the terms for easy understanding...

for example, as seen from my last post... i took the step to kill the ants.. in between tat, i got my mum to help me find the poison.. gotta cut it open myself... took trouble to go look for double-sided tape.. (u wont believe how hard it can be...) and planned on where to put the packaging itself..

of course.. this is just a simple success step i took in order to get those little red wheeny tiny crawlies outta my sight...

and, yes.. underhand method was used... could have bought the poison myself.. but, got my mum to do it instead... see... such unfillial son i can be.. HAHAHA.. tats why i have always thought.. my mum is the best woman that came across my life.. and, like many others to their parents, i love them to bits! :X

ok.. now, for the failure part... i only took such radical steps in getting the poison for them(the ants) after so many months of infesting my computer table... initially, hoping that they will just leave me in peace.. but, it prove out to be that they got so much to prove of their little tiny body that they increase their little habitant into a big empire...

oh.. talking abt empire of ants remind me of a childhood story i heard...

remember that the story came on when a little boy who does care abt his tidiness... leaving food everywhere ard his room... one fine day, a colony of ants infested his rooms... in the process, killed his dog and left the "man's best friend" with only bones... aaahhh.. ~

hahaha.. lucky enough for me, my dog stays with my elder sis... hahaha.. :D

alright.. back to the ants problem i am facing...

initially, there was some sorta results... dont see them running abt that often...

but, as i am typing this posting, it starts to show that many of them are running abt frantically ard my table again!

this time rd, can see that these few are very small little ones... maybe, they are having some crisis at their encampment... hahaha... forcing myself to believe that they will soon extinct from my area of influence! :D

hopefully, my believe will come true.......................................................................

final straw!

2007-09-22T17:56:00.001+08:00

argh!

this problem has been persistant for the past few months..

it is so damn irritating.. leaving many many bite marks on me..

everytime, i feel so pissed off when they take action against me..

the feeling was like... "hey! i am an innocent bypasser.. in fact, it is u tiny weeny things that are trespassing my territory!"

they even followed me to my camp lor...

now, starting to infest every area i go...

therefore, i really couldn't stand it anymore...

especially when my bunkmate told me that there is a good product which can exterminate them outta my area...

so, on my way back home from camp, i told my mum abt it.. and, she says she will help me get it...

earlier today, she passed me the best thing i ever need in my war against these irritants...

tada! it is known as "SUPERIOR ANTS/COCKROACHES KILLER"!

yes! i have been followed me the former...

from home.. to camp...

everytime i use my comp at home, they will start to crawl to my arms... and making painful and irritating bites...

therefore, i decided enough is enough... this time rd, i wanna kill them all!!!!

the above mentioned medicine will induce those little ones to bring it back to their nest... and feed their queen... which will in turn poison the little ones... and, i will be free!!!

hahaha... gotta bring it back to camp... and put it in my bunk...

wanna make sure that they will be gone from my life once and for all!!!

i have already started using it... dropped a few pieces of the poison ard... counting the numbers... and, maybe from there, i will know.. whether it is effective or not...

hahaha.. as i am typing, i see one little red ant trying to move the poison!!!

oh man oh man... it has better gotta work!!!

so looking forward for an ants-free environment.. :D :D :D

hahaha...

anyway, been having this close combat training ever since mid last week...

quite a fun programme... in the end, i suffered loads of injuries from it...

first, was the bleeding finger tips...

next came was the body aches...

last to come, was the neck strain...

damn cool... right.. ?

hahaha... painful experience... but, as i mentioned, it was really fun.. :D

long ago!

2007-09-16T22:56:00.000+08:00

haa!

been quite long since i last blogged...

just realised that when i visited my own blog...

looking at the last posted date was like, hmmm... one week ago? :D

yup... anyway, i am still home~

not booking in tonight as i need to be somewhere else tmr morning...

makes sense, rite? hahaha.. :X

had a farewell lunch this afternoon with my outgoing boss...

was suppose to be a meal at swensons.. but, we swapped place to manhattan instead... wanted to have something new rather than the same eating place.. :D

food was pretty good.. had a good time chatting up with him and my outgoing immediate superior too...

learnt many things abt them other than just work...

one thing i know abt them is, they can game well too!

especially my big boss... hahaha... surprising lah... a family man.. who can game so well... haahaa!

played for quite awhile before calling it a day... definately will miss his presense @ the office..

nice boss to be working with... responsible and knows his ropes well..

oh.. and, the day before.. went to hard rock with my poly friends...

wa lao.. their serving damn big lah... struggled to finish the food... lucky enuff, could finish my portion... but, not so for my other friends.. hahaha.. they all couldn't finish their main course lah... so wasteful~ sinned! :X

went singing with them after that... quite torturous... not long after entering the room, i started looking at my watch... hoping that time passes soon...

aiya... actually, i have no mood to blog lah... dunno what to say.. everything isnt structured at all... just splurting out nonsense in my mind... arg... !

fan si le... shall go take a bath.. try to freshen myself up... good night!

huh.. ? :<

2007-09-09T20:55:00.001+08:00

i think.. i think i am gonna fall sick for the second time this yr...

wa lao...

fancy falling sick twice in no more than 3 weeks..

diao!

anyway, went St James Power Station the night before...

not that impressive lei... frankly, so so only lor...

very crowded.. totally no place to dance or sometimes, even find it hard to move ard the crowd lor..

sorta expensive too... but, the crowd there was obviously a more matured group than places like zouk or double o.. so, yup.. whenever maturity comes into play, preferences will start to change..

hahhaa...

and, thanks to chris, for introducing those babes to me.. they are gorgeous.. but, like i said.. not my type.. hahaha...

really lah... interesting lot of people.. they are considered those rich generation kinda chiongsters la...

driving nice cars... having the company of babes.. wa lao.. hahaha.. sorta felt that i was outta the league when trying to mingle ard..

nonetheless, it was a fantastic night! thanks for everything.. =P (though there is serious doubt that u will see this posting, but still, thanks bud! :P)

very...

2007-09-05T23:08:00.001+08:00

tired...

something abt me...

2007-09-02T00:41:00.000+08:00

here is something about me...

i realise that lately, i have been losing my cool many a times..

most of it was due to some provocation, which, after much thinking, doesn't call for my reaction at that pt of time..

sorta regret... but, thats just me..

i will try my best to hold tat temper of my... but, it takes time...

no one is perfect.. so, i am not perfect too...

anyway, here is a little something for the one who pissed me off early in the morning of 1st Sept...

when i m in uniform, i hate it when people are not punctual...

at the very least, if you make an appointment with another person, make sure that you spend effort to stick to the appointment time lah..

and, when you call the person, at least be more apologetic... tmd... still make it sound like u are right when the actual fact is the other way rd... then, u freaking ought to be shot!

hate this kinda pple..

not tat i am always punctual... but, at the very least, i dare to say that i make an effort to be on time.. even when i am not, i will either sound it out or at the very least, apologize for my late arrival..

and, pls dun make it sound like people owe u a living, k.. u r tired, so is everyone! u might be doing alot of things... but, that does not mean that others aint doing anything! what u are going thru now is what i have had went thru many many times ago... i been in deeper shit than u did.. that, i proudly say so.. stop trying to "smoke" me with ur cock and bull story.. it doesn't sound appealing to me.. not even at the simplest level..

i just wanna complete my term in one piece.. if you want to break urs into many many pieces, go ahead.. but, dun ever cause others to suffer like you did... coz, it isnt fair at all... think it the other way rd... if i give u all these trouble you are causing to me now, how would u feel? fantastic? fabulous? great?

aiya... dun know why i just sink myself to ur level and rattle abt u... doesnt make sense.. just hope that, U... being born in '85.. at least have some sense of thinking before you talk.. u are not young anymore, k... i have had enuff nonsense from you.. and, once more, if this shit happens, be sure that it will escalate to a much higher level..

i can be reasonable... on the other hand, i can also meet the extreme end.. so, dun try me..

sounds harsh, right?

but, if you are working with such a person for the coming 9mths, it will be damn difficult to endure thru...

trust me... i did try to accomodate to his style of work... but, i can declare now that i cant hold on to this ridiculous person anymore.. really.. i just hope that he can vanish outta my sight forever.. and ever... amen.

its 1st!

2007-09-01T00:46:00.000+08:00

yea... 1st sept le!

anyway, had a very start of the week..

fell victim to the flu virus...

quite insistant that this happened due to the 21.1km run i had during last sunday...

as i read from medical pt of view after a run...

there will be a drastic drop of vitamin C loss.. and, yes... that must have caused my illness!!!

took temperature twice at the medical centre..

first, it was at 37.7.. my medic friend told me to take it again with another thermometer..

this time rd, it was 37.8... hahaha.. then, he told me, "u have mild fever"...

but, i felt really weak lor.. maybe this feeling was coupled with the body aches due to the run too.. but, who cares.. it really was quite a terrible day for me..

i had to struggled thru the whole day...

although my friend suggested me to be attended to by the MO... chances is tat i might be able to get a "C" status...

but, decided against it... coz, i have too many duties on hand... dun wanna be a burden to others.. not used to being one either..

nonetheless, i had a caring boss la! he saw me struggling thru the day.. and, he let me have an hr of rest in my bunk lor!

although is just a simple hr, it still meant alot~

when i woke up... very reluctant to leave the bed la... but still, had to.. din really want to mis-use his trust in me.. hahaha... to put it simple, i m just a set of lazy bones lah! :D

soon after i knock off, i skipped dinner and went straight to bed...

slept w/o fan... and hid under the blanket.. intention was to perspire... the old and traditional way to recover from a flu virus.. which i have always known ever since young..

woke up several times throughout the night... but yet, pushed myself back to slp... it was not long after midnight that i started perspiring lor.. hahaha.. luckily i did... coz, i recovered from the flu the very next day!

and, from that, i realised... i slept for a whopping 12hrs stinct! din know i can sleep so much... ever since i entered the service, the most i slept for is 10hrs+ lor... hahaha...

nothing much happened other than this sickness...

just that, i have wednesday, friday and sunday on duties...

following week, will be on course...

tiring schedule coming up! bracing it thru!!! :D

oh... ya.. i started my jogging and exercising regime last thurs! yeah yeah.. gonna continue with it! till i see results fr it! :P

finisher!

2007-08-26T22:18:00.000+08:00

oh yeah... i am a finisher of 21.1km run~!

hahaha... did it in abt 2hrs...

don't really know the timing... although i did timed it myself..

but, it was sorta fast under my stop watch...

don't know if it is real or not...

1hr 44mins...

like abit too fast and unbelievable lei...

so, all i could do, is just wait for the official timing to be posted out..

hopefully i could catch a glimpse of it...

wasn't easy at all... yes.. i admit.. !

during the run, was quite pissed off by people blocking my way...

50% of my concentration was put on looking out for others... wa lao.. where can like tat one...

they can just suddenly stopped running in the middle of that small pathetic walkpath @ ecp...

in the end, i bumped into two runners while trying to overtake them..

one of them just simply stop like that... basket... make me feel damn bad lor..

then, due to too long of a distance to cover, i stopped abt 3 times...

while making a turn at the last 2km, i almost sprained my ankle..

just suddenly felt a sharp pain coming from it... wa lao..

then, i started walking... but not long later, decided to run... and, again, the pain came...

luckily there was a final water point lah...

drank some 100 plus, and, forced myself to run again... this time rd, lucky enough for me, the pain was gone~

woohooo!

lastly, i realise that the medal was like for everyone, while stocks last those kind...

as long as u complete the run, u will get it..

no wonder they call it the "finisher medal"...

whatever the case, still felt a sense of achievement... !

shall carry on doing more running to bring down my weight!

hahaha... and, to mention about weight, 1 more kg lesser for me! :P

(ps: suffering from two big patch of abrasions at my groin area... wa lao.. damn pain lah... ! =< )

after so long!

2007-08-25T04:31:00.001+08:00

been quite some time since i last slept on my bed overnight...

hahaha... sorta miss it... and, yes! i miss it alot~!

finally.. got home.. ~

spent the night meeting up with my poly friends..

hmmm... everyone seems to be doing good at their own vocations...

yes... as usual... guys outing is packed with army life conversations...

and, as i wondered, why do we always pick up the same topic?

there, i thought... what other topics have we got in common when we only spend 2 days as civilian? talk about the latest happenings in town?

come on.. isnt practical at all... not everyone get a chance to book out during the weekends...

for example, i just had 2 days out in the civilian world for the past 14days...

can be considered as being isolated from normal lifestyle...

so, ladies, pls don't complain...

try to understand our situation...

you wouldn't want guys meeting up with their friends and not talking at all, rite?

we do get bored over army stuffs too... but, what can we do.. ?

hahaha... !

and, here comes my fair share of army life again...

with great reluntance, i ran my 16km during last tues...

was quite okay... just that, typical me, i "pushed" myself mentally in trying to finish the whole thing w/o stopping... and, yes.. i did it... ~

the thought of it was really torturous... but, no choice.. i so wanna get the finisher's medal lah...

wanna increase the toll of my medals as more momentoes whereby i can use to rmbr my time in service..

what to do.. abit lifeless.. but, thats the only "entertainment" and "achievement" i can get during the next 10mths..

and, been very conscious about my eating habit lately...

dun wanna turn out to become fat man...

results are already showing.. though it isnt very significant.. weight going down by 2!

a little step taken is a big way to success!

start giving myself some believes~

what come may...

2007-08-19T15:40:00.000+08:00

as if a monday-friday work schedule for the past wasnt enough to kill me...

now, i got a more than that timing to cope with!

inclusion of weekends is sorta quite tough.. but, definately, it was up for some cost..

haha.. tempted by the additional perks that came with it.. sorta a good one too!

yea.. talking about the add-on duties for the coming days(actually, i just did a consecutive saturdays duty as per started last week!)..

never liked doing it on saturdays... coz, it really limits your choice of where u wanna go...

on the other hand, when you are back @ ur snail place, u just wanna doze off to a deep good dream! which i just did... and, it happened for a whipping 6hrs tenure!!! wa lao.. what a waste of it..

but, judging from what happened during the morning, i was just able to gather abt 3hrs of rest.. from an office which only offers a couch, with my makeshift addition of my blanket and pillow.. addition of my little bolster.. and, the on-playing radio of 933.. alright lah.. plus!!! the always not working air-condition, which i thought a ceiling fan could have done a much better job than of the latter..., how can life goes on well for me?!

wa liew... still cant get my movie kaki lah.. tried asking so many pple liao.. all rejecting me somehow..

show some mercy to the unwanted lei... !!!

not my fault for telling you all last minute k... just that you people dont spend a wheeny of ur time @ my blog to know what i want ma... hahhaa... "tai-ji" the fault away from myself only.. :P

2007-08-16T22:20:00.000+08:00

went out looking for this julie's biscuit earlier on... and, found out that it was totally out of stock!

that was after visiting three supermarkets before finding it out...

and, i wondered, biscuits only ma.. got such big demands on it one meh...

hahaha.. shocking lei... !

and, for that, i have make a wasted trip down to the supermarkets... spent abt an hr going around... walking up and down the biscuits section... trying to locate something which is outta stock... hahaha... felt abit dumb... ~

yeap.. anyway, sorta regret how i spent my days as a civilian... hahaha.. as usual... stayed at home to play game.. so wu liao, rite? 没办法。。人缘不好。。哈哈哈！

had wanted so much to go catch a movie la.. but, no one have time for me... so sad.. ~

so many movies i wanna catch lah... esp. rush hr 3... but, no movie kaki!~

and, i think, its probably becoz i choose my movie kaki.. thats why.. left with not many choices.. hahahhaa!!!! so, in the end, i realise, i brought all these to myself~ hahaha.. :X

ok lah... dun really know what i wanna say anymore.. just that, i shld be having duties on sat... which makes me not feel like booking out tmr.. coz, sees no point in doing so... booking out at 5-6pm... then, booking in at 11-1159pm... whats the point sia... -_-"

hmmm!

2007-08-16T03:12:00.000+08:00

at home since yesterday!

haha... finally... another taste of the non-military lifestyle..

but then, it is only gonna last another 24hrs? before i return to the same old me... and, gonna be like for 10 more mths!!! omg omg omg!!!

hmm~ oh yeah.. though i did nothing throughout the day, i still feel contented.. contented in the sense that i feel great!

yeap...

actually, nothing much to update... just feel like rubbish my way thru abit...

oh.. one thing.. getting irritated somehow.. my skin is peeling!!! hate it hate it hate it!!! very irritated by it sia...

kept peeling.. then, cant wear sleeveless outside liao... got patches of white and dark coloured skin... damn freaking ugly lah... like what i mentioned in my previous post.. sorta regret for not putting on lotion!!! grrr....

one last thing... i gave out the 3rd bouquet or flowers in my life! weee.... ! actually, wanted to give it to her for a very long time le.. just that, there wasnt any proper reason to do so... tat explains what took this long.. hahaha... yeah...

wanted to help you put on the necklace de.. but, dun dare to ask..

hahaha... and, i so miss the feeling of hugging!!! >.<~

shit...

2007-08-13T23:35:00.001+08:00

siao lah...

my worst fear have had happened!!!

my skin is starting to peel... :< :< :<

shld have put moisturiser la... damn it lor..

somemore, the skin peeling is on my face lah...

help la... *sObs*

anyway, got a bigger upset than the skin peeling thingie...

just found out that i need to do 6-7 duties from now till end of this month..

wa kao... no.. they are not considered as "extras"...

i am just doing all these duties to cover the others who will be busy starting from tmr onwards...

and, within the 6-7, 2 of them are gonna be weekends de!!! wa liew... depriving me off more freedom le...

i can grumble... i can make a big fuss over it... at the end of the day, i still need to complete it.. hahaha.. so, i choose not to make a big scene over it~ just need to grumble over it for awhile... hahaha...~

oh man... i dunno if i am doing the right decision here... but, if i continue with my current decision, i know, i will come to regret it some day... just whether, will it be a long long regret... or, just a short one... more likely the former ba... :(

i better go slp early... gotta wakey early tmr.. shall "bullshit" more another day...

its all over...

2007-08-12T12:33:00.000+08:00

yup.. over~

disappointments are just part and parcel of being in life..

as per said, ups and downs are probably what everyone have to go thru in their roles as human being.. so, i must try to accept it gracefully at end day~

yes.. i will go thru it! i will handle it~ and, i will make sure that i come out of it in one piece~ heh heh..

oh yes.. lets just talk about some other things instead of my matters of the heart.. it is getting kinda bored, isnt it? (yes yes.. i live in a boring love life.. who doesn't? fine.. maybe me only..)

recently, for those who are aware of the latest news ard us, i guess you all heard about the kidnapping/abducting case of the south koreans at afghanistan..

yup... i am glad that they, the kidnappers, are finally agreeable to release the hostages.. i am happy that the volunteers are finally getting their freedom.. but, their freedom are being exchanged for some underhand demands.. which i am not agreeable at all for the authorities yet again, gave in to those despicable inhumane people...

i always thought, if the authorities are agreeable to those underhand terms laid down by the kidnappers' demands, wouldn't it be like just telling them, "please kidnap more people.. therefore, we can agree to your underhand terms?"? to me, it is more like encouraging them to kidnap than to deter them from using such despicable acts..

what more, those they kidnapped are people who volunteered their precious time and life to be helping those in need at a war-torn country.. cant they(kidnappers) view them more like samaritan who are willing to help people in need?

and, i wonder, why are they depriving their own people from receiving precious help...

probably, i am just a normal being not understanding their situation... but, what rights do they have to say that they understand their fellow natives? do they really know what others are thinking? in name, they claim, they are fighting for freedom... does their freedom includes seeing their fellow citizens starving and begging for food?

of course, they can work their way to self-sufficient... and, end up like an isolated state equivalent to south korea's neighbour...

with all these, i cant help but to be reminded of a saying which i got to know and agreeable from the conversation of some of my camp mates...

they were saying that history is more like created by the victors of the past... and, the down side of it is usually describing the bad side of those being defeated by them..

i.e. to say, if japan continued to rule over singapore, who knows.. maybe, all of my generation will be more pro-japanese.. and, being taught how bad our status would have been if we remained a colonial state..

aiya.. going into history le... dunno man.. just have alot of things to rattle about today.. maybe all these thoughts have been stirred up after my visit to other people's blogs....

just find that this world is filled with choices... you choose what you chose... you either stay "loyal" to ur choice by trying to determine how good your choice have affected and changed your life, or, start grumbling on what a terrible mistake you have make when making the decision..

yes.. everyone have their own views of what they see and hear... so do i, entitled to have my own..

this is the type of Aaron once you put him on duty for the weekends... he starts thinking of things... and, once he is tired out, he will just rattle whatever he have thoughts of... hahaha... conclusion, dun give me duties!!! hahaha.. :D

something..

2007-08-11T14:58:00.000+08:00

this amount of disappointment is not what anyone or everyone can describe of...

the anxiety...

the hope...

the looking-forward to...

it is all dashed. Period.

40

2007-08-10T02:00:00.001+08:00

yeap.. 40..

haahaa.. went out with the guys on national day..

almost din want to go.. but yet, decided to turn up..

nice nice nice..

played lotsa things..

did many things i din wanna do in the past..

hahaha..

tried so many back flips too.. which all turned out to be flops..

hahaha.. who knows.. maybe, one day, i can really flip and land on my feet w/o needing the water to "cushion" me.. hahaha.. well, i am just listening to what i wanna listen.. although i know that wont happen lah.. *grinZ*

oh.. and, sry guys.. wanted to watch the parade with my parents... so, din join u all for dinner.. nonetheless, i guess, we will have plenty of chance, rite? lets just brace ourselves for the upcoming AOH!

oh.. and, i like the tanned colour the sun have left me! i hope they stays intact.. as in, my skin.. hahaha.. :D

hmmm... fun aside.. well, started to think for myself too..

maybe.. maybe.. things shld just get soften down.. and slowly, being forgotten ba.. right?

nope.. not saying i have no fighting spirit.. just that, why fight a battle when everything seems so bleak... why suffer more "casualties" when u can save "lives"? is it for what others say, "At the end of the day, at least you know you tried"? or, is it more like proving to urself that "You are the best.. and, you can achieve what others can't"?

for me, all those sentence are more like deceiving individuals in trying to attain what they think they want..

yes.. i believe in miracles.. but, like what everyone says... they dont always happen.. that is why it is known as miracle..

i guess, with all these, i shall rest my case.. that is unless, there is a miracle.. which of course, i must be able to sense it... else, i shall just continue with my lifestyle.. like it have always been..

yes!

2007-08-08T22:11:00.000+08:00

finally, the torturous week is abt to be over!

last sunday's activitiy have since completed...

outfield, no more!

but... talking about this outfield..

as everyone know.. this period of time is the best breeding season for the mozzies...

and, did a head-count.. err.. bite-count earlier on..

cant believe the numbers man...

got more than 20+ bites on my whole body!

my hands already got like more than 10...

the best part is, for the whole outfield, i was in uniform.. and yet, i got bites on my body!

what is more embarrassing is tat.. i even had bites on my butt!!!

wa lao..

does it really mean that training troops area really have many "commando" mozzies... ?? :<

long time ago...

2007-08-06T21:47:00.000+08:00

hmm... quite long since i last updated..

did many things in the process of being MIA...

had my fair share of running... 14km @ East Coast Park..

woohooo... ran throughout.. although many a times, really felt like giving out... but, pushed on somehow...

ahhh... training... training... training...

it seems that recently, my life have just been revolving around all these..

nothing new.. nothing exciting... nothing that seems to be able to spur me on...

sad...

whatever the case, i just dont know how this sorta life carries on..

really want very much to have a break from it...

no.. i am not suffering from a mental breakdown..

just want something new to happen in my life...

oh man... things are just getting outta control la..

whats more... i have an outfield for 2 days n 1 night this coming tuesday.. which is tmr...

argh... how sad... how i wish i can just get a word or two of encouragement from the one i hope to get...

>.<~

ouch...

2007-08-01T20:18:00.000+08:00

ran 12km earlier during this week...

or, shld i say, i was struggling to finish the 12km..

in the end, i ran only 10.5km... thinking that i have completed 12km...

was quite a struggle although i have completed that distance before...

my calf muscles were almost giving way... worse still, i was feeling this "heat" at my abdomen area.. felt like my intestines were like twisting and tossing around.. hahaha.. first time felt it this way.. but still, ran abt 400m towards the ending line.. woohoo~ proud of my achievement.. would be even better if i covered the actual distance... hahaha... *shag cannot think le..* :P

now, i feel like my legs aint my anymore... hahaha... coz of the aches... its like, my legs are another entity of its own!!! wa lao... damn jialat... but, i guess, i just gotta live with it... still got the half marathon to attend... the upcoming trainings will probably cover more and more distance... gosh... hope i can bare with it!!! lalala~

actually, my life in service is rather quite a twist for me... as i was alone in bunk for these few days, all my bunk mates are either on leave or stay-out, did abit of thinking...

was rather positive to think that i have became a better person.. knowing how to persevere.. in terms of physical and mental training... know lots of good pple thru service too... although was abit turned off when i thought of those who are kinda like "wayang"..

but, dreaded the feeling when i felt like my freedom was totally disrupted by the service-term.. meaning to say, i felt bonded.. the obligation seems to have made me lost many things i wanted to do..

how should i put it.. ? burden? maybe that is the word...

put aside all those luxurious time i am thinking of if i was to be a civilian... i am more like deprived off the chance which i can spend with both my family and friends... although most of the time, i reject their invitation to have fun during the weekends... but then, most of the time, i was overwhelmed by the thought of just staying home and spending more time alone...

quality time, it should be... that goes well for me... as i always have feel that it will.. :P

besides the friends and family factor, i also felt that i am being tied down from getting a chance to go into a relationship... not that i am already in one or what... just that, the fact that i am still a NSF do make me somehow, felt inferior to others... moreover, like what i have concluded with many of my NSF friends... getting into a relationship while in service, is one thing which will bring in loads of worries... come on.. lets just face the reality that men do get into the tender hooks when they are not with their partner... may it be a strong one, or a faint one, it will still always be there... hai... problems!

all these are just thoughts... plain thoughts of my... i dont know how others feel about it... but, their stand definately does differ from my...

bleahz... enough said... rubbish throughout my entry... i better brace myself for the upcoming 14km run this friday... hope it will be a breeze to me!!! *shivers*

now, before i end this posting, let me just share with u readers a song... this song have been in my mind since last week... it also "accompanied" me during my 12km run... enjoy...

叶子

叶子是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀是落在天上的叶子
天堂原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遗忘
当初怎么开始飞翔
孤单是一个人的狂欢
狂欢是一群人的孤单
爱情原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭旅行到处走走停停
也一个人看书写信自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你

hmmm..

2007-07-30T21:14:00.000+08:00

did not manage to run this evening.. coz of the rain..

although the rain did stop, i still decided not to run..

coz, i usually rain w/o my specs.. which sorta being a dangerous thing to do.. as the ground is pretty wet..

yup.. abit like excuses.. but, whatever the case, i still didn't run..

anyway, somehow, felt very hurt..

actually, i know why lah...

just don't think it is appropriate to mention it here...

sounds weird, right?

but then, it is just me...

well, i am one who just writes myself off whenever i felt there is a need to...

and, when i do, usually, it is more like a well-concluded picture... always that difficult to change..

maybe, if you weight the difference, i would take out to be the last choice ba...

argh.. !!! low self-esteem... @#*!%&

never mind.. shall vent all my grievances and anger in tmr's run... and, i will!

my name!

2007-07-29T20:01:00.000+08:00

Boy Name Aaron - Name Origin and Meaning of Aaron

Gender: Male

Origin: Biblical

Meaning:
It's a Biblical name. This name means: A teacher; lofty; mountain of strength. Suitable only for boys. It is a popular name.

The meaning of my name...

me? a teacher? oh, really? i probably will have many dead students.. wahaha...

strength.. mountain of it somemore.. do i really have it.. ? i guess, my strength is probably being stubborn in my thoughts... always going for the things which i deem fit... therefore, i always thought, it could be a strength.. can also be my weak point... as whenever i habour inferiority, things just doesnt go the way it should be... therefore, i hope my partner can be able to bring me outta this..

and, yes.. i know.. a popular name.. and, a common name.. whereby will always get "unintentional" calls from friends who accidentally tend to press my no. on their hp... bleahs.. =P

oh.. forgot to mention a thing i heard from the radio during last week..

according to what i heard, guys with big butt are kinda well sort after.. hahaha.. that is interesting.. heard it thru 933.. when it was saying that some singer(landy wen) says that she prefers the above mentioned type of guys as her future spouse.. hahaha... really interesting.. ;)

等了很久又很想说的话

2007-07-28T22:12:00.001+08:00

我很想说。。“我想你”

tiredness caught into me!

2007-07-28T17:25:00.000+08:00

for the third consecutive week, i was pulled into roles of marshalling at different places...

first, it was marshalling @ gedong..

next, was at camp...

lastly, at pasir ris camp...

wa lao... all marshallings lor...

the difference?

the last one was much more "cool-er" than the previous ones!

yup... alot of difference lei..

see.. the first was done during the afternoon.. second, in the mid of the morning.. thats about 9+ ba..

and, the last one??? hmmm... started out at 5am.. hahaha..

moreover, the last one was the most enjoyrable one.. although i needed to act like a clown, swinging the luminous red stick to get the attention of the drivers... hahaha... but, nonetheless, the role was filled with great joy...

coz, firstly, i get to do my job w/o the company of the ever-rising temperature shed by the red hot sun.. next, i get to enjoy the serenity and freshness of air at the top level of the multi story carpark.. lastly, i get to have a glimpse of the sea while doing my duty!

the most rewarding part shld be, i sorta saw the sunrise~ and also, the break of dawn...

woots... the break of dawn.. a very interesting moment as per comparison to the other hours of the day.. you just feel like, you have seen some light coming through the darkness... but yet, the darkness just simply was filled with quietness.. and with that, you felt a sense of calm in the surroundings.. making you feel at ease at the very moment.. awww.. tat was one lovely timing.. hope i could go thru that sorta feeling with my future partner.. :) :) :)

side track abit.. was talking to one of the commander who was on duty with me at the carpark.. we were sorta saying that being a sign on, can also get quite good pay eh... judging from the amount of vehicles we needed to marshall.. hahaha... :P

yeap... tat was sorta how i spent my second half of the week... oh.. not to forget.. i was kinda assigned to fill up sandbags with the above mentioned commander.. both of us, filling like close to a 100 sand bags... damn fun.. make me feel like i m those bangala working @ some construction site.. hahaha.. and, i was also grumbling... was all the trainings i had previously all sums out to this moment? filling of sand bags? hahaha... kinda ironical...

anyway, been doing quite an amt of running.. which helps my lost of weight.. hahaha.. went running the night before... and, while running, i almost fell into a big drain.. so damn paiseh la... hahaha.. coz, i have this habit of not wearing my specs while doing the runs... and, lucky enough for me, i stopped when i realise that i was heading straight towards the drain... hahaha... stopped and stunned on that very moment.. before deciding to head back to the track.. hahaha... and, conclusion? always be aware of the track's location before heading onto it.. heehee.. ;)

hey!

2007-07-25T16:55:00.000+08:00

man can be weak with their words too, k...

and, yes.. i succumb to the temptation...

so what? i am only human!

grumblings!

2007-07-24T20:37:00.000+08:00

haha.. so long never update le!

been going out during the weekends... really love the outings.. helped me to ease off the tensions i had during the weekdays... and, also, put aside whatever was outstanding...

moreover, the breezes just simply "breeze" off everything which weights in my mind... ;)

actually, i have nothing much to say lah... just that, some things are meant not to be said...

even, if there is a need for it to be said, you must first have what it takes to be told upon...

which is, what i lacked.. sighz...

who knows what will happen... for the better or worse? i really dun wanna know... or, should i say, i don't have the courage to know...

so typical of me.. isnt it? running away when i know tat i shouldn't be.. but, like what i mentioned... i just simply isnt able to muster that sorta courage to bloat things out... who is there to blame... i guess, myself ba...

ran 12km today... tired... and, muscles aches... and, chest pains... whatever aliments which you can think of about running, i have it... oh man... took great pains to complete the whole run... weekends are just so "poisoning"... i guess, i am already being "poisoned" by them... but, willingly, i love it.. hahaha... !

oh... one more fact, i succeeded in making my first day of w/o SMS-ing! a great feat... but, who knows what does that means... probably, only i know the real answer...............

there are..

2007-07-16T20:37:00.000+08:00

many things i do.. which comes with a purpose..

i want to get things i hope to get..

i need to do things to achieve whatever i want..

at the very least, i dont do things without thinking of the consequences(sometimes la..)..

but, i do want to make things easy to decipher and understand w/o having much of a thought..

and, for that, i hope you understand..

anyway, was watching this show on cable tv..

pretty nice.. interesting.. hahaha..

it takes load of courage to be with a partner who is 7 yrs older than u r.. especially when the female gender is the more matured party..

but, the show make it so simple... no wonder, it is a show.. :D

who knows.. maybe things can just be that simple.. and, i hope it does!

p.s.: i am so tanned!!! skin is orange in colour la.. *pengs*

many many things...

2007-07-16T02:21:00.000+08:00

there are many reasons for someone to do something...

i wonder if you realise..

it could be as simple as that... or, could be as complicated as life..

but, if you see it through, it is pretty easy to understand too...

just whether you choose to believe in it or not..

see.. even tying of shoelaces come with a purpose.. the purpose of not wanting to step, trip and fall on it.. it is just that simple..

when a driver drives faster.. he just simply wants to reach his destination faster... see.. another example..

:) :) :)

a walk of thoughts...

2007-07-14T16:13:00.000+08:00

had an hr of walk the night before...

from hougang back to serangoon..

on the way back, had quite a number of thoughts...

was listening to music... swinging my hands... taking a bottle of mineral water, a car scent and bottle of windscreen washer...

swung them up and down... singing away...

then, i thought... eh... actually life is quite like a radio...

one's mood can be easily affected by the music that is playing at that percise moment..

if it is a hyped up music that is playing, u will just feel so hip.. swinging ard like there is no boundary..

when it is a love song playing, u will just feel sorta emotional..

so, yup.. can conclude that music does affect pple's mood..

who wouldn't want the music playing to be always a happy one.. ?

who wouldnt want it to play the type of music that u want.. ?

everyone wants something they hope to get... but, in the end, its either they show the willingness to go achieve it... or, they just simply hide away from it... hoping that one day, it will come to them automatically...

well, i guess i can be categorized as the latter... hahaha... not very good.. but, what to do.. i m "constructed" this way...

and...

2007-07-12T20:58:00.000+08:00

i totally hate insecurity...

make me feel insecure, i will just hide.. hide from reality..

whoops!

2007-07-12T20:20:00.000+08:00

here i am! blogging away.. hahaha..

see.. what have had happened...

oh.. had a 8km run on tuesday.. likewise, almost died after the run.. haha.. even though the "kick" wasnt as bad as the first time i had the 5km run, i still felt rather exhausted.. guess i am starting to get into the "show" ba.. which is sorta a good sign.. maybe shld just keep making myself run.. to condition myself and adapt back to the military lifestyle.. hahaha!

wednesday... mainly tuang-ed my way thru the whole day! hahaha.. went to do some work-related stuff ard the camp.. had abit of "tough"(slpy) time while doing it.. but, got thru somehow.. cant really rmbr what i did at the later part of the day.. suffering from amnesia... ? hahaha..

thursday.. which is today.. did many many things.. going back to main HQ to do a test which i already did.. but, the first time wasnt counted.. tat explains why i got my a*s back there.. sorta hated to do such a test.. whereby must be very mindful of what i choose in the MCQ... coz, once failed, no one would wanna know what u gotta do next.. hahaha.. somehow, got some "external" help though.. and, got thru! hahaha.. shiok.. another boulder down the shoulder.. heehee... had a cohesion dinner with the whole HQ.. was forced to drink beer.. yucks.. hate it sia.. beer.. omg.. make me feel so yucky la! dont understand why pple like to drink it lor... just some yellowish substance.. worse of all.. smells damn irritating too... wats more.. when a few drops of it get into ur clothing.. u reek the smell of it! yucks!!! irritating yellow substance.. and, it makes my stomach somehow bloated... guess i m just not the kind to drink it..

tmr... new batch of recruits coming in.. and, i am involved in facilitating the whole show.. as, ursher!!! again.. kns... hope i dun get as "tanned" as i was like friday.. making me feel so "two-coloured"... =D

nothing much to say.. Period.

shuang!

2007-07-09T21:09:00.000+08:00

actually, not abit of shuang at all la..

worked the whole day.. gotta skip my lunch..

only had my first actual meal of the day at abt 1730hrs..

see.. taking miser pay.. yet, working like a career man..

wateva the case, just feel so shitty today..

kept thinking of the problems i having.. but, only till now, the actual feelings are taking a toll off me..

why? i know the reason.. but, having some difficulties in spelling it all out..

see.. must always act as if nothing have had happened.. probably, this is nan ren's headache ba..

knowing that things had happened.. but yet, cannot spell it out..

zhen shi tong ku.. so, ladies.. pls stop saying that u wanna be a guy in ur next life.. coz, u will probably regret in the end.. :)

boohooo~~

2007-07-08T05:29:00.000+08:00

人生有很多事是无常的。。很多你以为你了解。。但，不是你想象中的那么简单。。外表上很简单的一个感觉，并不代表是真正的意识。。所以，不要太相信眼前的一切。。因为，你只会伤害到自己。。

i just cant believe that i am so naive enough to believe in myself.. always taking things into hand.. and, never doubting the things i perceive could be wrong.. but, as for what how i see the things are progressing, i started to doubt in myself..

what can be said of it.. ?

i guess, i could only start thinking of how i can minimise the thought now... as, at the ultimate end, i should be protecting myself.. rather than being exposed to what is going on out there..

sounds like a sad entry, rite?

no idea why i am writing all these.. outta spontaneity ba..

anyway, was thinking of it all the way...

wonder, why.. why became so emotional again... ?

but, i dun want to know the answer.. coz, i think, there isnt a need for me to know too..

ahhhh...!!! incoherent again... been being like this for the past few days...

probably, work has gotten into me.. hahaha.. now, blame it on work!

so, Mr. Government.. please let me have another long break again.. it will be very appreciated.. *weeEee~*

some..

2007-07-06T21:43:00.000+08:00

some people are just selfish...

the thought of satisfying own..

really perks one up and doing the wrong thing in the end...

but, whatever you do, i can do better, k?

so, to conclude, i can be selfish too!

人是自私的。。我也不例外。。

(ps: the above mentioned has got no relation to whatsoever of my life at all.. just plainly wanna mention only..)

courage!

2007-07-01T04:45:00.000+08:00

ok.. it take loads of guts for me to own this up..

hahaha.. although alot of the pple out there knows this.. but still, i decide i must acknowledge it..

yeah.. here it comes...

i suck at ball games...

hahaha... no big deal, rite?

i thought so too.. still, it dun feel right to be always this way lei..

though, i have no intention to brush up skills with the "balls"

hahaha...

been observing ard.. and somehow, friends who recently got themselves single.. are like attracting opposite gender suitors like how the bees get attracted to honey..

why ah... dun understand lei..

issit tat people just cant stand the fact of being lonely.. ?

if it is abt that, totally can understand.. coz, i cant stand that kinda feeling too...

still, there are times we just gotta suck it up.. coz, "choice" aint kind enough to be always there for you to use.. that is unless you are really very attractive la.. which is one thing i lack.. lol!

oh man.. feel so crapped up recently.. many things i wanna do.. yet, dread doing..

how.. ?

alright.. think i shall end this entry.. but, before i do so, here is my best wishes to those who are facing problems/troubles in their life.. may it be on relationship, kinship, friendship or financially, hopefully everything will come to terms and be better for you! :)

gnd.. (Go N Die)

2007-06-30T13:24:00.000+08:00

"Based on the latest update of your NS status as of 30 April 07, we note that you have joined the *ingapore A*med F*rces as a regular s*rviceman. As the additional $100 of GST Credits is meant only for the Nation*l Servicemen, the additional GST Credits will NO LONGER APPLY TO YOU in view of your current status as a regular s*rviceman."

What can i say? #$!%^

No.. i am no longer in regular service.. pui!

Thats all i can say...

in the end, it is over...

2007-06-30T11:59:00.001+08:00

went back to AFS to sign the termination letter the day before...

with abit of reluntance, i signed above the dotted lines..

well, to say that there is totally no remorse in my decision is definately lying...

there were many things in my mind since i have decided on where my future lies..

but of course, regrets will start to flow in once i start thinking abt the times @ tamworth..

hahaha.. gotta live with it.. whose life wouldn't be smeered by regrets.. ? as per said, my is definately filled with more than one..

anyway, i will try not to think about it ba.. it is just a way to make me feel bad.. =p

drank quite abit the night before.. now, feeling nauseous... giddy.. guess tat is what they conclude as hang over.. bleahz... =p

sometime..

2007-06-27T15:11:00.000+08:00

been long since i last updated the blog with some sense..

if you realise, the pass few entries are like, kinda senseless?

hahaha..

anyway, been slacking around since my leave started..

mainly, staying home and surfing ard the net..

and, yesh.. my mum and sis have flew to taiwan... leaving me with my dad at home only..

well, occasionally, i was make a nanny.. looking after my niece.. which sums up, "monster-sitting"(btw, i call my niece a monster..) and, looking after my pet dog, baby.. which is what known to me as "baby-sitting"(coz my dog's name is "baby")..

hahaha.. hmmm.. is this considered as "moon-lighting"? hahaha... i doubt so..

yeap.. things are kinda slack.. so, slack i became.. and, concluding, fatter i turned out to be.. hahaha..

dun think much i can update since i am currently leading such a "beautiful" lifestyle.. heehee..

oh.. ya.. lastly, i got my posting le.. and, yes.. like what everyone have been saying.. i am back to my pervious vocation already... but, this time rd, my stance will be at 40SAR.. :D as wat? i dun know either..

tamworth..

2007-06-21T14:23:00.000+08:00

alright.. facts..

2007-06-21T00:24:00.000+08:00

the fact is.. yes yes yes.. i gained weight during my mission outta town..

and, yes yes yes.. i am fat..

really.. just 1 more kg.. i will be outta the safe zone..

so what.. ?

i just need to go thru some slimming programme what...

hahaha.. but, in anyways, who cares.. ? ;)

what i want..

2007-06-18T21:24:00.000+08:00

i crave for a hug..

not a simple hug..

but, one which is filled with love and concern..

of course, it must not be an ordinary hug..

and, one will think, what constitutes "ordinary" ?

well, it is for each individual to determine..

anyway, i am on leave as with effect from today!

yeah.. long leave.. hope it can be an extraordinary one..

people...

2007-06-18T02:05:00.001+08:00

they come and go..

leaving behind impacts of life which makes u think..

sometimes, you never get to understand why they appear..

most of the times, you just know that they are there for some reasons..

whether you like it or not, you wont be able to choose how they appear..

you can only decide how much they impact ur life..

anyway, things have been pretty good for me lately..

been busy trying to catch up with friends who i dont really have the time with..

loads have been in my mind lately too..

i always wonder.. what can happen in order to change someone's plans for the future..

till now, there aint many reasons for the deviation.. but, reasons do varies..

for example, marriage age..

well, for many out there, we do have a planned age to tie the knot..

but, as i always convince myself with.. a plan is yet only a plan.. things could change in reality.. isnt it.. ?

so, does it really matter in the end?

is it for the better good if you stick very closely to what you planned?

who knows.. things could turn out better than what was planned if deviation occurs..

yet, its a double-edge effect.. could also turn out worse..

and, at the end of the day, no one knows the answer for all..

fuck...

2007-06-15T01:31:00.000+08:00

i dont like to be emotional..

but, i cant help it..

feeling more than embarrased..

but, as helpless as i could be..

anyway, i am back @ .sg

definately, will i miss those days back there @ tamworth..

as they kept mentioning..

"One door closes, another opens..."

i could only say...

2007-05-31T17:20:00.000+08:00

sucks..

first...

2007-05-27T08:17:00.000+08:00

the first weekend at tamworth...

hmm.. nothing much..

just, went out to the town area.. which is like.. pretty small..

nothing much at a foreign land..

guess i can only try to hibernate at my bunk for the later weeks to come..

hahaha...

else, nothing much happened during the week..

had my "maiden" flight cancelled during last friday.. due to some activities the instructors were having..

as for the others, same fate as i had... cancelled..

hahaha.. everyone is like mugging damn really hard.. feel pretty sad to know that i cant mug as well as them.. but still, i will try my best to chase up..

coz, pple say.. as long as u have perserverence, you can still achieve what u want to!

and, yup.. like i promised before my departure, i will do my best!

weeeheee~

good luck to me.. :)

australia...

2007-05-25T17:31:00.000+08:00

tamworth is... cold......

*bRrRrrR*

leaving...

2007-05-20T16:02:00.000+08:00

had a very weird dream the night before..

wonder why it is... that, such a dream will come along..

although it is a very nice dream... but yet, i know, there is something wrong with it..

hahaha..

btw, the main character of the dream had rejected me before..

i wonder... hahaha..

anyway, yup.. i m leaving.. leaving this place~

to those who are concerned.. i will definately try my best..

promise that i wont twang around.. yes! you have my promise.. =)

第一次。。。

2007-05-18T03:04:00.000+08:00

just got home! was out till pretty late tonight.. a look at the timing of this post tells you everything.. isnt it?

anyway, while on my way back up my home, i was thinking of this song.. yup.. "第一次", started singing while walking down the stairs.. and, first thing when i switched on my computer, i played the MTV... once again, followed the melody and started singing again..

suddenly, i felt that its 很有感触... though it is a song which is played like many yrs back.. the meanings/feelings the song is trying to give to its audience will always be the same..

thru all these, people will start dwelling and reminiscing the occurance of the past.. sometimes, remembering things which have long long long time kept outta ur mind..

its thru sparks of such moments whereby you realise, things are still beautiful in your life.. at the very least of it, you still have great old times to think about.. that explains why people got into the belief of 天长地久... isnt it.. ?

lastly, life for me hasnt change in any ways... still the same old me.. just that, i gonna be leaving singapore soon..

as for the time being, just wanna hope things go well for everyone.. may your the happiest moments of your life be always be part of ur memories.. coz, to me, w/o memories is like plain cruel to urself..

they said..

2007-05-12T00:19:00.000+08:00

people of my current vocation shld be filthy rich.. but, what is happening to me.. ?

oh man.. i dun know where to raise the sum needed for my aussie trip...

i dun know how am i gonna dig out more money for my mum who is going to taiwan..

nonetheless, i know.. at the end day, i will be so "dried up" till i am as good as a salted fish.. hahaha...

geez... always the same case.. have lots of things in mind to blog.. but, till the time i put actual effort into the blogging part, i dun seem to remember what i wanna type..

is this a case of dumbness in me.. ?

hahaha.. i m dumb.. dumbo.. =P

oh, before i end this posting, just wanna tell you guys out there that gossips really can kill..

almost got killed @ school today.. verbally..

now, i gotta face my admin-in-charge this coming monday..

for, she wants to make "things" happen.. ? oh man.. so damn paiseh!!! -_-"

why?

2007-05-10T23:34:00.000+08:00

why do some people can take things in strifle.. ?

and, why do others have to make a big "hoo-haa" whenever things goes wrong?

does that means that the former is better in handling things.. ?

or, is it that the latter just wants to attract some attention?

but, have anyone thought another way?

whereby the first category type of people is just simply adapting a "bo chap" attitude.. ?

while the second type of people just cant let things go as it meant alot to him/her ?

maybe, this is what many many others have conclude as "Seeing the world of its two sides"?

conclusion, don't ever come out with an assumption or answer when you are not totally immersed into the situation.. understand the problem first, before concluding on the actions needed to bring whatever involved back to its natural path..

unknown..

2007-05-07T23:25:00.000+08:00

didnt know i have such natural ability to lie..

hahaha..

was on the phone earlier with this suveyor whom "caught" me outside my school..

from what i could gather, it is probably some banking pple.. trying to get more investors in their investing plans..

hahaha.. she wanted to meet up with me to like intro me into this plan of hers.. which, to me, aint any interest at all... asked me several questions.. trying to get herself an appointment with me.. just to let me know more abt the plans, etc.. and, i told her, i m going overseas next week.. dun think have the time for her.. was meant to be an excuse though..

but, come to think abt it, i really am leaving next week! so, i m not a liar, k... :)

yeah.. leaving next week! and, i hope, this would be a 2mths affair! hahaha.. really hope so though..

will either end up being happy throughout.. or, sad for i have missed a good chance.. damn..

dilemma.. lots of thoughts.. and such.. but still, gotta carry on.. hope there was someone to share all these with me.. guess, i wouldnt be that lucky at all..

anyway, 3hrs rest before the day of work is definately something which got a tow over me..

was feeling quite shagged out this morning.. but still, went on to watch my movie on PSP.. tiring it is!

AND... i finally got my ear plugs! got it @ $17.10.. usual was $19.. but, due to the member card i got, it was at 10% cheaper for me! :D

lastly, gotta train myself up again.. dun wanna feel this weak anymore.. working towards a goal.. a goal which isnt defined.. a goal which has no limits.. could end up achieving it.. or, losing it.. think everyone just gotta wait for the outcome of it.. *perseverence*

cant wait!

2007-05-05T10:25:00.000+08:00

i cant wait for 10th may to come along fast..

i want it to be there soon... yes.. a fast-forward mode!

or, maybe, i dun really want that day to come that fast.. simply just want the activity of the day to come in double quick time..

hahaha.. what is gonna happen on that day?

well, the payroll will roll into my acct!

hahaha.. spent tons of $$$ during the month of april..

so much so that i m kinda getting worried..

worried that my bank will be as dry as a dried fish.. hahaha.. what the hell..

hmmm.. very boring sat. morning for me.. woke up early.. and yet, dun know what to do..

played a game of dota.. though i always deem that dota-playing during my weekends/bookouts are a total waste of time.. hahaha..

was thinking, how good if the old days can be revived back to reality.. or, maybe, happy days shld be the one reviving.. =D

will be another 15 more days before i leave this place.. just 15.. 1 - 5.. fast, isnt it.. ? well, what is meant to happen will happen eventually.. so, i will try to take it up the best i can.. i promised myself.. and, a promise will always be a promise.. :)

"thinking of you, 我有你真好.."

flight suit..

2007-05-04T00:52:00.000+08:00

went to test out my flight suit today..

the place was very near the school.. in fact, it was just opposite the sch..

and, when i saw where my course mates were leading me to, i was kinda afraid..

afraid to go to the place where i have always been before my enlistment..

the place where i waited for her appearance..

no.. not that i cant forget her..

is, i cant think of what to talk to her even if i see her..

lucky was i.. tat didnt happen.. although thru-out the fitting session, i was thinking, what shld i say.. what shld i do... what shld i not do.. and, what shld i not say..

hahaha.. maybe, that got me busy in my mind.. tat i was so frickle in selecting my size of gloves, boots and flight suit.. hahaha.. din really know i can be so indecisive over clothing till today.. hahaa..

anyway, there are much to think about lately..

someone posed me a question.. which, i cant really seem to give a definate answer for that..

and, that is, who is my most loved.. ?

that, of course, does not include my parents.. if it does, i wouldnt be in a dilemma.. isnt it.. ?

i had an answer for that question.. which i let it known to that person too.. but, i also emphasized that my answer at that moment shld not be tat accurate.. due to many factors..

whilst thinking of it, i think, i had a better answer now within my mind..

which, i think, it would be better if i keep it within myself.. :)

hope my thoughts will come thru..

first time..

2007-05-02T02:02:00.000+08:00

many first times i had encountered since the start of this year..

mainly, the first times i had with the car..

earlier this yr, i changed the car battery myself.. yeah.. myself!

why did i do it?

the vehicle just wouldnt start.. plus, my dad have kept an extra battery which he gotten from the manufacturer.. so, yup.. just decided to give it a shot.. and, yes! i did it!

although at the start of it, was pretty unsure if i could accomplish the supposedly uphill task.. but yet, i did it! no sweat.. hahaha.. or, shld i say, perspired like hell in the end... hahaha..

next, only during monday evening, i changed the vehicle's tyre! hahaha.. was coz of a flat tyre which i had right outta paya lebar.. till kovan.. whilist on my way to the workshop, quite a number of drivers warned me over the flat tyre.. which i gladly appreciated their kindness.. was abit pissed though.. coz of the stupid flat tyre.. making control of the vehicle 3x harder than normal.. and, when we reached the workshop.. it was closed!!! damn it.. was wearing my uniform somemore.. what a way to create an image in others.. seeing someone in a military uniform, walking up and down trying to look for a decent tyre workshop.. but, to no avail..

after thinking for awhile, decided to ask for help from the neighbours of the closed tyre shop.. and, the one i asked was like trying to direct us w/o even giving us the road name of the shop he was directing us to.. he took it as if my mum and i are like people who never been to kovan area before.. when we prompted him for the road name of the shop, he just simply dun wanna give.. dun know what went wrong with him..

so, after awhile, i decided we just try our luck at the new tyre shop... but, changed my mind when i started to move off.. i decided to move to one of the lanes to try change the tyre with the spare myself.. and, yup.. there i went.. fixing up the thing.. din know that i could do it with just two different tools.. a tube-like spanner and a jacker..

was pretty fun changing it.. just that things went abit dirty with all the dirts accumulated on the spare tyre even since its purchase like 2yrs ago.. hahaha..

can you wonder? someone wearing a military uniform, changing tyre by the road side? hahha.. was fun doing it though.. =p

anyway, am feeling abit tired... just cant seem to be able to design the orbat chart.. so, might as well not waste time.. better go get some rest and brace myself for tomorrow.. :)

good nite..

i have got...

2007-04-29T16:36:00.000+08:00

total of...

4 pillows..

2 bolsters..

1 silk blanket..

1 queen sized bed..

i remember once someone told me.. the amount of pillows on your bed depicts the amount of love you yearn for..

seems like, yes, just like what joy said, i want to have love.. but, yet, i am always rejecting and reluntant to accept it as it comes along..

courtship can be just a big hassle to go thru.. relationship can just be simply difficult to maintain..

can you bear the hardship of trying to letting the relationship last and always romantic.. ?

can you think of the smallest problem can always be blown up to the biggest one in the whole world?

can you commit yourself to the amount of commitment needed for one?

can you be sure of not hurting ur partner while the process of relationship goes on.. ?

can you not commit the mistakes u did in ur past relationships?

can you stand up to be the one he/she wants u to be.. ?

all one wants is a full and happy relationship.. but, have they thought of the price tag which comes along with it.. ?

if you cant "pay" the price for it, why bother hurting urself.. or worse, hurting someone you care and concern for.. ?

just freaking stay outta the picture.. and, let life goes on w/o you...

my love..

2007-04-28T17:01:00.000+08:00

i love today.. :)

i just...

2007-04-25T20:34:00.000+08:00

want to be different from the rest..

do things outta the norm..

make my parents be standing up and proud of my achievement..

fulfilling an unfinished promise..

make others think of me in a different perspective..

get what i desire..

save the hassle of finding a future job..

and, many many more..

i really hope i can get what i want now.. complete what i yet to complete.. achieve what i have been thinking of achieving.. and, dun want to be look down upon..

wat happened..

2007-04-23T01:36:00.000+08:00

hmm.. conclusion, ginger tea taste super yucky..

drank one cup earlier on under the advice of gw..

he claims that by drinking that, the "air" in my stomach will be gone..

and, from the way he told me, i was convinced.. thus, downing one cup down my miserable little elastic small tummy.. which in turn, make my already-in-a-terrible-state throat filled with ginger taste..

gosh.. i guess it shld be the last time i drink this kinda tea.. really taste horrible.. nonetheless, i still finished it.. coz, not finishing it will only waste my effort in the tasting of it.. therefore, w/o much choices, i just gulped down the drink in mouthful style..

hohoho.. i should be long aslp by now if i hadnt went out with the guys... and, for two consecutive days, the originally-planned movie outing was once again, cancelled..

with that, i think i m not fated to catch a movie lately ba... coz with all these postponing, i really doubt that i shld harbour any thoughts of getting into a theatre anymore.. at least for this period of time ba..

and, been having quite a number of chance meeting with old friends.. but, always, didn't have any time to stop and talk to them(either party is always rushing for time..)

well, i guess i should start to treasure all the people around me more.. so that, in time to come, i will be a contented man with several good friends by my side..

what say you? :)

latest..

2007-04-22T03:58:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. been pretty addicted to vocal songs lately.. or, shld i say, starting from sat evening..

hahaha.. came across The Platters' - Only You.. den, got myself hooked to their songs when i tried looking for other songs of theirs @ YouTube..

hahaha.. very nice.. really.. especially when the songs are like slow slow those kind..

the feeling filled in me is s-u-p-e-r-b!

now, that i have listened to their songs, i realise that i love those slow and gentle music.. those really really slow ones..

guess what.. when i tried singing at their pace, i wasnt able to gather enuff voice at all... hahaha.. they are really really good lor.. :X

still, i find ladies with some intellectual level are a load of appealing lot.. hahaha..

bundled together shld bring some maturity and understanding heart.. tat would be perfect! =X

wat do u do when u r bored?

2007-04-20T01:33:00.000+08:00

me?

been doing nothing.. except, like what daniel and john says.. "eat, slp, slack, game, shit and do nothing still..."

lol... alright.. really, there are nothing left for me to do.. except the basics.. like those mentioned above.. hahaha...

hmmm.. been surfing friendster lately.. and, coincidentally, i just burged into 3 different individual accts.. to my surprise, they are close friends somemore.. lol

so zhun, rite? i definately didn't arrange it.. it all just happens like this.. "ta-da~"

aiya.. bored.. life in Air Force Recruitment really can kill you off silently...

an insignia which i only get to wear for 3 days... and now, i gotta put it down..

10mths of struggle just to wear it proudly for 3 days.. who knows what will happen next..

but, i m definately looking forward for my time @ Air Force School.. hopefully i can adapt and get well with life in a new environment.. and, Air Force is willing to let me sell my soul to them for 10 yrs.. lol..

crapped.. just feel like scribbling on this blog.. nothing much in particular..

changes

2007-04-17T19:35:00.000+08:00

sui once told me.. everything will be over once i changed my blogskin..

hahaha.. nope.. not that i want everything to be over.. it is just that, everything have long been over..

really.. changed the blogskin is coz the previous's background pic is already gone.. tat is main reason for the change..

so, dont think too deep into it..

coz over the terms and got into the reality long time ago..

reminiscing the past doesnt mean anything.. holding on to memories doesnt take precedence to facing the future..

so, dont make groundless assumptions.. coz, very likely, such will only make u feel miserable.. :P

gruelling times..

2007-04-16T17:11:00.000+08:00

after like, 19 weeks, i m finally over and done with my current course!

woohoo.. so happy..

just simply cant stop thinking of the times i had with my section mates.. hahaa..

experienced the ups and downs of soldier-ing..

seeing how people tuang(a.k.a chao keng)..

throwing tempers during times.. which i did several times..

enjoying the rojak we get from the canteen..

even the simplest thing can fascinate us..

who knows.. what kinda people we are.. but, we insist in calling ourselves, FOS!

what does FOS stands for? err.. u have ur own say.. ;)

anyway, quite lazy to update on the happenings of my life..

just take it as, i m still the same as before.. life-less.. :\

there is..

2007-04-08T16:13:00.001+08:00

no signs of easing down..

yup.. my back still hurts like nobody's business.. :(

thinking..

2007-04-07T20:21:00.000+08:00

been thinking lately..

i just cant bear to see my friends around me getting upset or disappointed with their problems..

especially those who are dear to me..

i just want them to live life of its most original form.. that is with no tears.. but just pure happiness..

ahh... please live happily.. and, w/o worries!

lastly, my back still hurts even though after the massage session i had.. :(

been ages..

2007-04-07T03:38:00.000+08:00

yup.. i disappeared for quite some time..

well, for those who are still around me, they will know the disappearance act was wat all abt..

as for those who aint know me tat well, err.. ok.. take it this way, i went off for a vacation.. :D

where to.. ? errr.. alright, taiwan is the answer!

the place was pretty fun.. though it was my second time there..

met with lots of people.. seen the true side of many friends who went with me..

maybe it was due to the high fatigue level.. or could be just the weather.. it comes to show either two types of personality when the challenges come along..

either a selfless person will be born.. or, a selfish individual comes into shape..

nonetheless, we weathered thru the tough.. and had the best of the time together.. enjoying thru the process.. may it be for the better or worse, we still got thru somehow.. hahaha..

the experience will definately be part of my memories which i will engrave deeply in me..

many things i learnt thru the trip too.. one of them worth mentioning is the survive skills of a dog..

saw this dog which got knocked down by a vehicle while i was there.. the dog got pretty hurt by the accident.. but still, managed to pick herself up and limped off the scene..

from what i gathered of the way it moved, and of course, visually, the dog was incurred injuries on its leg and face.. both spots bleeding quite badly.. and yet, it moved on..

then, later on, i spotted it lying down near a building.. and, decided to take a look at it due to curiousity.. like what the others always say.. curiousity kills the cat.. and, now, it kills my heart..

the injuries on the dog was so bad that his face was kinda disfigured... and, the limp of its leg.. argh.. hate to say that.. but, it was so bad that i was able to see the bone protruding outta it.. yucky sight.. yet, my heart went out for the dog.. crying within myself.. seeing on how the dog is suffering.. and, cursing the irresponsible driver who did all this to it..

nonetheless, i could not keep myself on seeing it go by.. so, i decided to leave it alone.. as i know it will be better off w/o my unprofessional help.. even if i want to help, all i can do, is just stay on and see.. frankly, nothing much i could do at tat point of time.. hai!

the night falls.. and, when i had time, i went back to the building where i last spotted the dog.. was pretty glad to see tat it was moving away.. maybe due to the crowd forming near the building.. but still, i was rather happy tat it is moving up and limping away from its old spot..

after that day, i never got to see the dog anymore.. i sincerely hope tat it is doing fine now.. although helpless i could do for it, but, this is the most i could give to it.. tat is hope and pray for its well-being..

looking forward, things have been pretty much slack for me lately.. yeap.. u see it right.. S-L-A-C-K.. why? coz, finally, i m passing out from armour! oh.. happy man i can be! hahaha..

POP will be on 13th April.. which is like, 6 more days? heehee.. happy!!! after 5mths of armour-ing.. finally, seeing the fruits of labour being garnered... the feeling is, wooohooo!!! =D

happy things doesnt go a long way... why i say so? coz, i m suffering from this terrible backache.. which have bothered me for like, 4days.. (inclusive of today).. wonder what is going wrong.. the hurt is really killing at times.. wanted so much to take pain killers.. but, decided not to.. as reliance on medicine is the only way to make u weak.. hahaha..

dun know who came out with the philosophy of what i said above.. but then, i find it meaningful.. letting myself suffer awhile is better than finding a way to hide the pain.. isnt it.. ? :)

recuperating...

2007-03-11T15:35:00.000+08:00

a bird needs time to recover from injuries..

a dog needs time to adapt to new environment..

a fish needs to get into the new eco-system in the new aquarium..

a tiger needs time to find its prey..

a lion needs time to spot the weakest in the flock of buffaloes..

a car needs time to warm its engine..

a child needs time to understand how things work..

so do i..